Dad Explains Why He And His Wife Decided Not To Tell Their 10-Year-Old Daughter It Was Her Birthday
He claimed that they chose to do this because of how past birthdays turned out.
Monkey Business Images | Shutterstock It can be stressful trying to plan a kid's birthday party. From picking a theme, buying all of the decorations (or DIYing them if you're trying to save money), gathering all of their friends, and then having to entertain a bunch of children for hours on end, it can be a lot for the average parent. However, a dad and content creator named Kyle Philippi said he and his wife decided that for their daughter's upcoming birthday, they would do something different.
In his TikTok video, Philippi explained that he felt guilty but admitted that their plan was to withhold the truth and not tell their daughter it was her birthday. The choice, he said, boiled down to wanting their daughter to actually enjoy her birthday and have fun.
He and his wife decided not to tell their 10-year-old daughter it was her birthday.
"So, today is my daughter's birthday and we're not telling her," Philippi began in his video. "I think we're doing the right thing, but it's so weird to just look at her knowing that she has turned 10 years old today and she doesn't know it."
Philippi explained that his daughter had been counting down the days to her birthday, but he and his wife told her that it was still another 18 days away. He claimed that the reason was that a little over two years ago, they had a birthday party for her, but since it fell during Christmas break at school, none of her friends or classmates showed up.
"She was just devastated," Philippi recalled. "And then last year, we celebrated her birthday on the actual day with her best friend and her family. We took her to the movies and where she wanted to eat, it was a great day. Then, a few weeks later, we had an official birthday party with her actual school friends."
The dad explained that his autistic daughter still struggles to understand why her friends didn't come to her party, which was scheduled during school break.
Philippi admitted that his daughter is on the spectrum and has an auditory processing disorder, so it's hard for her to understand certain things, especially revolving around her birthday party. So this year, Philippi and his wife went back and forth about what they wanted to do to make sure her day was special.
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The two decided that they would just pretend it was "just another day," and their daughter seemed to go along with it. He repeated that he was still unsure if it was a good idea, but that he didn't want to cause her disappointment if her friends couldn't make it to her party again.
Philippi also noted that his daughter had stopped receiving invites from her classmates to their parties, which was another struggle to come to terms with as a parent. While their method might be considered unconventional, many of Philippi's followers and viewers were supportive.
Parenting is all about making hard decisions, and it's easy to get swept up in the notion that you're choosing wrong even if your motives are good.
In a follow-up video, Philippi said they didn't let the day completely slide without a little celebration, however. They brought her food from Wingstop and started planning her party, which they decided would be Raggedy-Ann themed. His daughter seemed ecstatic, and despite not telling her that it was her actual birthday, it seemed she didn't feel any less loved and celebrated.
Naturally, there was a bit of hate on Philippi's original video, but what works for one family doesn't necessarily work for everyone. Writing for the Child Mind Institute, Beth Arky noted, "When it comes to raising kids with special needs, parents know that skillful planning can make the difference between a successful experience and a painful meltdown."
At the end of the day, parents simply want to do the best by their children. Philippi and his wife clearly love their little girl and are doing what they believe is best for her, even if others might not agree. But, as long as they're still showing their daughter attention and love on her big day, that's all that matters.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
