Mom Doesn't Allow Her Kids To Attend Birthday Parties On The Weekend Because She Considers That 'Family Time'
Family time is more important.
Jacob Lund | Shutterstock A mom has received a bit of backlash after sharing her stance on allowing her kids to attend birthday parties. In a TikTok video, the mom, economist, and best-selling author named Emily Oster, appeared on the podcast, "We Met At Acme," hosted by Lindsey Metselaar and explained the reasoning behind her controversial parenting take.
She prioritizes spending quality time with her kids over allowing them to attend parties.
Oster's rule with her kids sparked mixed reactions, with many people pointing out that she's depriving her children of being able to have fun and goof around with other kids at parties, while others understood Oster wanting to create a routine with her kids so that they would all be able to spend time together as a family.
"How did you come to that decision?" Metselaar asked Oster. "And how do you deal with the backlash of friends being like, 'Why didn't you come?'"
Oster explained that one of her parenting principles is that you have to decide for your family what values you want to instill within your children. One of the things that Oster thinks about regularly is how she wants her days and weekends to look with her kids, pointing out that the main goal is to always be happy.
There are significant benefits for kids who grow up in homes that prioritize family time.
Something that Oster said she likes to do with her family is prioritize time spent together. Of course, this can have immense benefits, especially for young kids growing up.
Research has shown that families who spend quality time together and build that emotional bond have a healthier relationship with each other, and can adapt to situations better than families that may not spend as much time together.
"If you remember the shared experiences you had with your parents and grandparents, you know the important bonding that took place during those times. The warmth and love you felt, belonging to something bigger than yourself," explained marriage and family therapist David Schwartz in a piece written for Psychology Today.
He went on to write, "The security of knowing you were part of a supportive family that cared for you. That is what family traditions give us, the closeness and connectedness of truly having people that hear us and care about us. It is this shared experience that brings people closer together and is well worth preserving."
The mom said she prefers spending time with her family over attending parties.
Oster admitted that as a family, the weekends are when the four of them spend the most time together. She acknowledged that not everyone will understand or agree with their preference, but since they have this tradition, it takes priority over other stuff, like attending parties thrown by her friends for their kids.
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She claimed that she's not opposed to having her kids attend the occasional party, like on a Sunday afternoon, which is usually when their family outings are finished, she wouldn't have a problem with it. However, if a party fell on a Sunday morning, which is when Oster and her family usually do things like hiking, then she wouldn't be as inclined to let them go.
"I think, for me, that kind of simplicity is so important," she continued. "It's just like we decided a thing that was important, and this other thing is less important because we said this first thing was the most important, and then it turns out if you just tell people I can't come, it's basically fine."
Of course, not everyone agrees with how Oster looks at parties versus family time, but it's clear that she's not doing it to prevent her kids from socializing. And, as they grow up, they'll most likely be able to choose if they want to continue this family time on the weekends or not.
At the end of the day, what works for one family doesn't necessarily have to work for another. That's the beauty of being a parent — you get to decide the routines that you want to give your children as they're growing up. For Oster, she simply wants to prioritize stability and tradition, but it doesn't mean her kids are missing out on any important social interactions and experiences.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
