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Mom Refuses To Throw Yearly Birthday Parties For Her Daughter — 'I Just Personally Don't Find It Necessary'

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kids sitting around table with birthday hats at party

A mom has admitted that she has no desire to throw her daughter birthday parties every single year.

In a TikTok video, Marissa Light, a stay-at-home mother and lifestyle content creator, revealed that she has no intention of ever throwing an over-the-top extravaganza for her daughter and instead is choosing a different route when it comes to celebrating her birthday every year.

Light doesn't find it 'necessary' to throw yearly birthday parties for her daughter.

"Under no circumstances will I be throwing my daughter a birthday party every single year," Light began matter-of-factly. She explained that this doesn't apply to her daughter's first birthday, a sweet 16, and graduation parties, but for the years in between, she doesn't feel it's important or necessary to have a kid's party for every single one of her birthdays.

Light, whose daughter hasn't turned 1 yet, recalled having attended a slew of children's birthday parties for all ages, and whether it was a family gathering or a friend's child's birthday, she felt the same way about them all — she didn't find them enjoyable in the slightest. Even before she had a child, Light didn't have any positive feelings about them, and the child whose birthday it was didn't notice her presence at their party.

   

   

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"I am not going to force that on my friends and family. If you are someone who genuinely enjoys throwing your child a birthday party, do what you wanna do. I personally don't find it necessary," Light said. "My daughter will be loved and celebrated on her birthday every single year, it just won't be in that way."

Instead of throwing a party, Light will have an 'all about you day' for her daughter.

Light explained that she will be moving to a family compound with her parents, her brother, her sister-in-law, and her two nephews, and on this compound, they will all come together to celebrate her daughter, Daisy, on her birthday every year. They'll have dinner and cake every year and she'll be surrounded by love and compassion on her special day.

Mom Refuses To Throw Yearly Birthday Parties For Her DaughterPhoto: FamVeld / Canva Pro

On top of having a family gathering, Light explained what she called "Daisy Day" or an "all about you" day for her daughter. She said that on Daisy's birthday, she'll make her daughter a special breakfast and will talk to her beforehand about certain activities that she wants to do on her birthday.

"When siblings come we're gonna allow her to choose whether she wants someone to watch them or whether she wants them to come and participate in whatever activity we're doing," Light said. "We're then gonna go shopping, she's gonna pick out a couple of toys and a couple of outfits, whatever she wants."

Light will also give her daughter the option of going out and having a nice celebratory dinner where she can have her parents' full attention. She acknowledged that it would be so much more fun for everyone involved, especially her daughter, to be able to spend quality time with her and their family. 

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Light's decision to forego yearly birthday parties will also be a good way to save money.

A BabyCenter poll found that 11% of parents spend more than $500 on their child's first birthday, while 25% spend anywhere between $200 to $500. A survey by supermarket retailer Asda also found that the average parent in the United Kingdom spends $28,000 on a child’s birthdays through age 21.

Despite Marissa's aversion to kids' birthday parties, she insisted that if her daughter ever gets to the age where she wants a party, then she'll throw it for her, no problem. She'll present her daughter with the option of either having a "Daisy day" or a party.

   

   

"I'd rather just let my daughter celebrate in a way that she wants to celebrate."

In the comments section, people were quite divided on Light's opinion on birthday parties, with some pointing out that she's depriving her daughter of the experience of having all of her friends at a party celebrating her, while others commended Light for acknowledging the stress and hard work that goes into planning a child's party.

In the end, Light will still be celebrating her daughter's birthday milestones, and sometimes an experience and being with family trumps a party full of screaming children and annoyed parents. If Light's daughter does get to the age where she's made friends in school who've begun inviting her to their birthday parties and she suddenly changes her mind and desires a party of her own, then Light is more than fine with throwing it for her daughter. But in the meantime, experiences with loved ones and exciting activities are all they need because, truly, children don't even remember the early years of their birthday parties anyway.

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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.