Woman Calls Moms With 1 Kid The ‘It Girls’ Of Motherhood
Isn't making light of what mothers of one go through really doing a disservice to all moms?
Fernanda Greppe | Unsplash Women face a lot of unnecessary and unfair judgments. For example, women who choose to remain childless may be viewed as selfish for not bringing new life into the world. On the other hand, women who have children may be thought of as not taking their professional life seriously.
One woman thought she had found the happy medium between the two sides in moms who only had one child. She called them “it girls” and said that while they chose to become mothers, they still chose themselves because of the time they were still able to devote to their own lives.
One woman felt like moms who had one child had found the perfect balance of choosing both motherhood and themselves.
The woman, known as @iamprofessorbae on TikTok, is the founder of “The It Girl Mom Club” and talks frequently about the initiative on the video-sharing platform. In one post, she offered her thoughts on what makes moms of one the real “it girls.”
“Moms of one are truly 'it' girls,” she declared. “And they almost get the same amount of societal pressure as women who choose to remain childfree. But it’s a little bit different because moms of one chose motherhood, and they also choose themselves.”
The woman argued that choosing to have only one child gives women the gift of more freedom.
“Moms of one still have room for autonomy over their life,” she argued. “They still have room for rest. They still have room for ease. Um, and people don’t like that.”
She explained that women having any form of freedom, including the kind that comes from having just one child, is completely unacceptable to society. “And one thing I know is that if you’re a woman, people hate when you have freedom, and if you couple that with motherhood, they really hate it,” she said. “Because as a mom, you’re not expected to have freedom.”
Instead, she said, moms are under societal pressure to go through hard times just as a part of motherhood. “Like, you’re expected to struggle, you’re expected to submerge yourself into motherhood, and you’re expected to lose your identity,” she said.
“But when you only have one child it’s, like, the perfect balance,” she countered. “You can still be a mother, and then you can still pour into yourself, and you can focus on yourself.” For single mothers with just one child who are well-off financially, the situation is even better, she argued. “They really hate that,” she said.
As nice as it would be to be an ‘it girl’ of motherhood, this woman might be oversimplifying things a bit.
While this woman made a good argument, there are several things that she didn’t account for. For example, her comments on single moms felt a little tone deaf. While being a single mom who is financially successful would certainly be preferable to being one who is struggling with money, that doesn’t change the fact that being a single mother is extremely difficult.
Jonathan Borba | Pexels
Acenda Integrated Health said that some of the problems single moms face include developing a healthy work-life balance since they are the sole providers in their household, and feeling stressed by big decisions. After all, they have no one to depend on for support or counsel.
Furthermore, only having one child is not necessarily easy.
Any form of parenthood in any number has its ups and downs. In a piece for Good Housekeeping, blogger and author Melanie Shankle shared that because she and her husband chose to only have one child, they were able to devote more time to her and cultivate strong relationships with her. However, that doesn’t mean it was easy.
Irina Kraskova | Pexels
Ultimately, being a parent isn’t easy, whether you’re caring for one or five. Calling women who only have one child “it girls” because they can still devote time to themselves feels wrong. It negates all of the hard work that those mothers of one do perform. Really, there’s no way to make motherhood an easy task.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
