We Need To Raise Our Sons To Dump Women

This is actually necessary.

By The Good Men Project — Last updated on May 22, 2023

Photo: Dani D.G/ Shutterstock

By Heidi Shertok

I have an urgent message for parents everywhere: Please, please raise your sons to dump women. Among the many values that must be instilled in boys, the importance of dumping someone — clearly and definitively — should be at the top of the list.

Women deserve closure and they deserve explanations, even if it causes severe discomfort on your sons’ behalf.

A simple phone call or email is sufficient enough to do the job. But please, for the love of everything that is good and decent, no disappearing acts.

When I was nineteen years old, I had fallen hopelessly in love with someone — to protect his identity, let’s simply refer to him as F.H. — and after weeks of professing his undying love and commitment to me, he disappeared. Vanished. Kidnapped by aliens or swallowed into a big, black hole, I had no clue. He had told me he was going on a weekend trip where there would be no cell phone reception, but that he’d be in contact with me as soon as he returned.

A few days went by, then a week, and after two weeks of complete radio silence (on his part, not mine. I was faithfully leaving hysterical voice messages on his phone like a good girlfriend should), I broke down and called his mother. His mother—to protect her identity, let’s refer to her as M.H. — told me in no uncertain terms that F.H. was finished with me and that I needed to move on.

His mother dumped me. After everything we’d been through, the secrets we shared, the hours spent talking through the night, confessing our hopes, revealing our dreams, the laughs, the tears… It was his mother who ended it.

It’s alright. I’ve recovered. Years of therapy can do that for a person. F.H. and M.H. are old histories to me now, and if it weren’t for friends of mine finding themselves to be in similar situations today, I’d never think twice about them. But the fact of the matter is those guys like F.H. are EVERYWHERE; they cross all boundaries, race, color, creed, and species.

These charismatic men are man enough to capture women and lure them into their carefully-conspired traps, but not man enough to see through the mission by releasing the prey — er, women — back into the wild.

Women deserve closure, period. First, they need to know that they have been dumped, and second, why they’re being dumped.

It’s as basic a human need as food and water and air. And then, there’s the reappearing act. Sometimes, men disappear only to reappear weeks later as though they can continue where they last left off, and unfortunately, many women are just starved enough for attention to allow them to do so.

I say enough is enough. It may very well be too late to change the twenty and thirty-something fartheads of today, but it’s not too late to impart this message to the next generation of men.

Talk to your sons, tell stories, and participate in role-play. Give them scenarios and offer choices to build their self-esteem and further develop this critical life skill.

As an example, you might say if little Sammy decides that little Janie reminds him too much of his overbearing mother or if little Janie’s unfortunate habit of spending all of little Sammy’s lunch money goes out of control, should little Sammy,

A) Ignore little Janie completely in the hopes that she figures out on her own that little Sammy no longer wants to be her friend,

B) Make a mutual friend break the news,

or C) Sit little Janie down and gently, though firmly, explain the situation.