If You Use These 10 Phrases With A Stay-At-Home Mom, You're Being Condescending
These phrases can come across as dismissive or belittling to stay-at-home moms.
Toa Heftiba | Unsplash Being a mother isn't easy, and there's no right way to do it. Some women work full-time, while others stay home and raise their children. Both options have their challenges and stress. Yet, the American Psychological Association discovered that stay-at-home moms are at a marked disadvantage compared to working moms.
Stay-at-home moms have to deal with situations unique to them. Sometimes, people who are unaware of the difficulties stay-at-home moms face might use condescending phrases. They might not mean to be harmful, but the words can have a harsh impact.
If you use these 10 phrases with a stay-at-home mom, you're being condescending:
1. 'What do you do all day?'
Go ahead, pay your daycare to watch your kid because that's her job. But let a kid stay at home with a mom and dad, and it's what they do all day. Speaking from experience, it's a lot more than just watching kids.
2. 'You have so much time on your hands'
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Whether or not someone is a stay-at-home mom or a professional bodybuilder, being in shape takes lots of work, and so do kids.
3. 'You're so lucky you never have to worry about being sick. You can be lazy all the time'
Ha! I tend to chuckle with that one, too. Have you met my bosses? They stand a little over 3 feet tall and demand my time even when I am sick.
4. 'My job is so stressful, you're lucky you don't have to deal with it'
Excuse me, have you ever been alone for 12 hours in a house with screaming, fighting toddlers who all demand your attention all at once? Let's talk stress.
5. 'You're home all day and that's the best thing you can wear?'
Sorry if my leggings and jogging pants aren't up to your standards, but forgive me if I don't have time to look in the mirror after dressing, feeding, and cleaning 3 kids.
6. 'My house is cleaner than yours'
Bravo! But I bet your house doesn't have kids running behind you, as you clean, tearing things back up, either.
7. 'Can you do…'
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Let me stop you right there, just because I am home all day doesn’t mean I suddenly have time to run your errands. In reality, I'm lucky if I have time to pee alone.
8. 'I don't have time to do that like you do'
Umm, no, just no.
9. 'Some of us actually work'
Is that what you tell your child’s daycare provider or teacher as they do the same things we stay-at-home moms do, but with your child?
10. 'I can't afford it, being a stay-at-home mom is for the wealthy'
Being a stay-at-home mom takes lots of sacrifices; in fact, I can’t even remember the last time I went out and bought myself something nice. So while you’re bragging about your new Coach purse and wallet, remember I’m choosing to be with my kids over having things.
Crystal Carder is a freelance writer, blogger, and former contributor to BlogHer.
