Girls Who Grow Up To Become Emotionally Resilient Women Usually Hear 9 Things At Home
wavebreakmedia | Shutterstock If parents want to raise girls to become emotionally resilient women, the lessons should start young. Parents who consistently teach their daughters lessons of inner strength and self-esteem can help them navigate the world as independent women.
Parents play a major role in the lives of their children. By providing a safe space with both emotional and mental support, girls can become resilient. They’ll learn how to process their emotions, and it will make them feel like they are never a burden for voicing their feelings. Saying certain things at home can encourage this behavior.
When girls hear these phrases at home, they usually grow up to be confident and resilient women:
1. ‘Your feelings are valid’
pics five | Shutterstock
Women and girls are often accused of being too emotional. It’s seen as a personality trait that makes them weaker than the men around them. They’ve always been told not to be so emotional and that their decision-making skills are affected by their intense emotions. When told at home that their feelings are valid, they may not let people’s words about women’s emotions get to them.
Labeling women as emotional undermines them. She’s being told that she can't trust herself, and she’s being too dramatic. Being raised in a space that allows them not only to feel their emotions, but to voice them in a safe and loving environment might make them more resilient when they face comments like this in adulthood.
2. ‘You can always tell me the truth’
Growing up, I had friends who feared their parents. I noticed it made them sneakier, and they acted out because they thought they could hide everything from their parents. However, if their parents ever found out, they were punished. This kept the cycle of doing things behind their parents' backs and not talking about them until it was too late.
Girls can be guilty of not telling their parents everything going on in their lives. However, parents who create a safe place to open up likely find their children feel more comfortable sharing with them. Instead of being focused on discipline, they want their girls to know they can tell them anything and be met with respect and support.
3. ‘I love you no matter what’
Giving a child unconditional love teaches them that everything will be okay in the long run. They have the support of others around them. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. This form of parenting shows girls that they will always be loved and accepted by their parents, no matter what happens.
The greatest security a girl has with her parents is that they’ll always stand by her. Unconditional love allows them to mess up, knowing they’ll still have their family’s support through it all. It gives them resilience because they can turn to their parents when they are down and know they’ll have a shoulder to cry on.
4. ‘You are capable’
alvarog1970 | Shutterstock
Girls are going to face situations where they are told they’re not good enough. Whether they can’t figure out a subject or school, or someone challenges them to do something difficult and then makes fun of them when they don’t succeed, it can always feel like there is a hurdle in their way. Parents can help with this by letting them know they should never give up because they are more than capable of succeeding.
Instead of feeling like they failed at something, their parents are encouraging them never to give up. This leaves them feeling empowered and ready to tackle any task. It teaches them to have confidence in their own abilities and choices, and that is how emotionally resilient women are born.
5. ‘You are not responsible for other people’s happiness’
When girls are taught to be agreeable, they might put other people’s feelings before their own. This can cause them to become people-pleasers as adults. Instead of putting themselves first, they want to do whatever they can to make everyone else around them happy. This leads to burnout and neglect of their own needs.
Girls who feel they’ll only be liked if they go along with what everyone else wants may think it’s the only way to be liked. Parents can make a difference in their children’s lives by teaching them that the only person’s happiness they can control is their own. You can’t win everyone over, but you can love and respect yourself.
6. ‘You deserve respect’
A study found that younger women are more likely to experience emotional abuse in relationships. Instead of expecting respect from their partners, they might put up with a partner's bad behavior because they think they deserve it. When someone lacks confidence or resilience, they may stay in a situation that is dangerous or unhealthy for them. Parents might be able to help their daughters avoid this cycle by teaching them that they deserve respect.
Parents can help their daughters learn respect by modeling it. If they treat each other with love and respect, she’ll see how important it is to find someone who does the same for her.
7. ‘You can do hard things’
It’s tough growing up. I remember how overwhelming it felt for me. Sometimes, I thought I wasn’t good enough to keep trying to pull myself out of difficult situations. Whether it was a fight with a friend or a failed test, there were times I felt helpless. Thankfully, my parents were there to remind me I could do hard things.
It’s been found that parents’ encouragement can help kids stay motivated and not give up on hard tasks. With practice, they’ll learn they can do anything they put their mind to and become more resilient adults.
8. ‘Your feelings don’t have to control you’
Svitlana Hulko | Shutterstock
A study found that intense emotions can overwhelm our regulatory systems. Girls, especially during their teenage years, can be susceptible to this. It puts them on a path to emotional risk, making it difficult to pull themselves out of their stress and anxiety. Of course, emotions become more intense through phases of a girl’s life, but by giving them the skills to navigate them, it can make them more resilient.
Good parents tell their daughters to feel their emotions, but also try not to let things they can’t control overwhelm them. It’s easier said than done, but it’s a way to teach resilience as they learn to process their emotions and let go of what they’re holding on to.
9. ‘You are worthy’
It’s hard for women to feel good about themselves. Societal pressure to look and act a certain way can weigh heavily on them. There are also unrealistic standards they’re told they have to meet, like having children and succeeding in a career by certain ages. When they haven’t reached the milestones expected of them, it can make them question their self-worth.
Women are hard on themselves for these reasons. If they are taught as girls that they’re worthy, it can positively impact their self-esteem. Instead of holding themselves to unattainable standards and goals, they’ll know they are enough because of who they are.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
