Worried Sister Asks What To Do After Discovering What Her Married Brother Is Doing On Social Media
She questioned if she should bring up what she knows to her brother.
DimaBerlin | Shutterstock A woman admitted that she isn't sure what her next steps should be after learning exactly what kind of behavior her married brother has been engaging in on social media. Sharing her dilemma in the "Ask Eric" advice column, she claimed she had discovered that her brother was interacting inappropriately with women on social media and asked whether she should make this known to him.
Here's the thing: He's not just liking risqué images. He's actively messaging complete strangers and telling them he wants to "date." Not only would this information hurt his wife, who the sister is good friends with, but it would undoubtedly hurt his adult children, as well.
A worried sister asked what to do after discovering her brother's inappropriate interactions with women on social media.
"My brother and I are both in our late 60s. We’re close and I consider his wife a good friend of mine," she began in her confessional. "I discovered that my brother is engaging in some pretty questionable interactions on the social feed Threads."
eggeegg | Shutterstock
She explained that her brother had been replying to quite a few posts by barely clothed women, complimenting them, and even saying that he would like to "date" them. On top of that, he's outright asking them to DM him.
Putting the ethics of it all aside, she admitted that it's concerning to know that her brother is engaging with this kind of content when he's a committed and married man.
The sister is worried that her brother's behavior could impact his family.
The sister explained that her greatest concern at this point is how his behavior might impact his family. What happens if his social media engagement gets back to his wife and two adult children? If she found his posts and interactions, couldn't they?
Truthfully, it's endearing that she's this concerned about her brother and the posts that he's engaging with. If it's really sitting on her mind, an open and honest conversation with him would probably be helpful. Maybe he's struggling emotionally. There's even a chance that there might be trouble in his marriage, and he's craving attention and seeking it elsewhere.
Either way, it's definitely disrespectful to his wife and children to behave this way online, especially in such a public manner. Even if he thinks it's harmless or just some fun on social media, leaving flirty comments under photos of strangers is definitely crossing a line when you're married and committed to someone.
Psychologist Abby Medcalf explained it simply to AP News, "It’s cheating if your partner doesn’t like it, or doesn’t know about it, or wouldn’t like it if they knew about it." Of course, therein lies the rub. We don't know how the brother's wife feels. Maybe the only course of action is for the sister to talk to her brother to clear up any confusion.
The sister admitted that her brother is 'fairly naive' to how social media works.
"Should I tell my brother that I’ve seen these posts on Threads, and tell him that these posts are visible to each and every 'follower' of his on Threads?" she questioned. "He’s fairly naive when it comes to digital privacy and may be operating under the impression that his friends do not see his interactions with these women."
Having a conversation could definitely be the first step into potentially uncovering why her brother is engaging in this kind of behavior in the first place. But if he doubles down on his behavior, tries to deny it, or claims that his wife wouldn't care, it's possible that a conversation with his partner might need to happen. At the end of the day, she's in a bit of a tough spot regardless.
That's pretty much what Ask Eric said as well. If you "pull this thread, who knows what will unravel," were his exact words. And he's not wrong. That doesn't mean she shouldn't tell him. Naivety notwithstanding, he needs to know that his behavior has consequences. Knock it off, or I'll talk to your wife. That's about how the conversation should go. Granted, it's very possible this husband and wife have an understanding that no one knows about. Maybe she knows and doesn't care. Maybe she has her own interactions online, and she's just a whole lot better at hiding them.
Absolutely no one wants to be the person to stir the pot in anyone's relationship, especially when it comes to family. But at the same time, sitting on this kind of information can feel as if you're carrying a secret that might not really be yours to keep. If she values both her brother and his wife, then staying silent isn't an option.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
