The 3-Step Plan For Turning A Selfish Kid Into A Grateful One
An easy technique for gradually shifting your child's mindset.
Andrej Lišakov | Unsplash Kids can come down with a bad case of the "gimmes." New toys, new technology, and "limited edition" items seem to always be calling. Wanting more is contagiously conditioned, but the "gimmes" aren't forever. You can help your child overcome being a selfish kid and encourage a spirit of gratitude and generosity.
A 2008 study of children as consumers showed what parents are up against. "Marketing strategies make children younger than eight especially vulnerable because they lack the cognitive skills to understand the persuasive intent of television and online advertisements. The new stealth techniques can also undermine the consumer defenses even of older children and adolescents."
In response, parents need an idea that is simple and easy to implement that can help.
Here's the 6-week plan for turning a selfish kid into a grateful one:
Weeks 1 & 2: Thankful Thursday
Reality check: Kids just don't shift from "all about me" to deeply grateful overnight. It takes awhile to really embrace gratitude on a deeper level. So start simple in weeks one and two.
Pick a time of day to talk about thankfulness (during family dinner, at breakfast, at bedtime, driving to practices, etc.) and simply share two things you are each thankful for that week and discuss them. Easy, right?
Don't criticize anyone's answers. You may hear "my Xbox" or "days without school." Those are fine. More thoughtful or sentimental answers will come in time. For now, just focus on building this new habit. Thankful Thursday's goal is simply to nudge each family toward thinking (consistently) about all they have to be grateful for.
Weeks 3 & 4: Haves and have-nots
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Now that the habit is taking root, change things up a bit and use your Thankful Thursday time to name two things you're each thankful for that you think others might not have. This will take a little more thought, and that's the point.
Maybe your kids never thought about other kids who don't have Xboxes. Or never realized some kids work all day in other countries and risk their lives for a chance to sit all day in school.
What blessings does your family enjoy that others in your community do not? Expand the discussion beyond your borders.
Weeks 5 & 6: Generosity in action
Hopefully, your kids are now actually looking forward to Thankful Thursdays. (Don't expect teens and pre-teens to ever admit this.) For the next two Thursdays, share two ideas for ways each family member could give to someone else. Let the kids toss out huge, grandiose ideas if they want. Let them dream big! Then help them find practical ways to realize that spirit of that idea in giving to others.
If your son wants to "build someone a house who doesn’t have one." Help him look into ways to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity or at a shelter. If your daughter wants to "save all the dogs who don't have a home," investigate volunteer opportunities with Humane World for Animals or an animal shelter in your area. You may also want to suggest giving something they already have to someone else — a game, a toy, a coat. Help them see how their generosity helps others and makes them feel good, too.
Continue the ritual
No need to stop the Thankful Thursday ritual. Make gratitude a natural part of your family time together throughout the year by finding ways for your family to count its blessings and find ways to bless others.
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