People Whose Grown Kids Still Call Them Often Usually Do 6 Things Very Well
Miljan Zivkovic | Shutterstock You can always tell who the really good parents are when their kids become adults. That's because they are close, even though they live independent lives. These parents have their grown children calling them often.
Children grow up and build their own lives, so it can be hard for them to find time to stay in touch with their parents consistently. The kids who feel truly appreciated by their parents make sure to set aside time to call and connect. Their parents did specific things that made them want to continue fostering that relationship.
Things parents whose grown kids call often do very well:
1. They don't censor things for their adult kids
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Little kids aren’t typically accustomed to the harder parts of life. Parents tend to keep those things a secret so their kids don’t stress over things they have no control over.
Some parents continue to do this as their kids become adults, and it can cause tension. Their kids will probably feel like they don’t trust them enough to handle those issues and will be offended. Depending on how much it hurts them, they might be hesitant to call their parents again.
The parents who still talk to their kids often don’t hide their problems. They won’t edit their words to make everything seem okay when it’s not. It allows them and their children to have healthy and open communication that makes phone calls enjoyable.
2. They take genuine interest in their kids' lives
Parents who take a big interest in their kids' lives are usually the parents who get the most calls. These parents ask their kids questions so they can learn about what’s happening with them. They want to get all the updates because they know it keeps them and their kids close.
Not only does it keep them informed about what’s going on in their lives, but it also builds trust and creates emotional intimacy. These parents will also remember what their kids say. They’ll ask about it later to see how it’s affected them, so they can stay updated as whatever is happening unfolds. It also shows their kids they’re listening, which makes them feel seen and appreciated.
3. They don't dwell on negatives
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While these parents don’t hide the negative things from their kids, they don’t dwell on them either. If there's a medical issue or a divorce in the family, they’ll tell their kids about it, but it's not something to harp on about.
It's not easy to have a relationship with anyone who only wants to gossip or focus on the bad stuff. It's draining. Parents who are close to their adult kids have active lives of their own and have plenty of positive things to discuss with their kids.
4. They raised their kids in a low-conflict home
A parent could do everything they can to get their kids to call them, but if their adult child doesn’t feel comfortable around them, it probably won’t work. The way parents treat their kids has a massive effect on their relationship as adults.
People raised in a high-conflict environment don’t typically enjoy going home or calling their parents. They want to avoid the stress they felt in childhood, stemming from all the arguing. These adults become emotionally detached from their parents and no longer want to maintain a connection.
Parents who raised their kids in healthy homes don’t drive their kids away by resurfacing negative emotions. They raise them well when they’re young, so they can have a positive relationship as adults.
5. They have new and interesting things to discuss
For some people, calling their parents might feel more like a chore than a time to connect. Parents whose kids call them often usually don’t feel this way. If it felt like a chore, they probably wouldn’t do it as much.
Parents with active lives are more fun to talk to because they have new and interesting things to discuss. When their kids ask how they are, they'll have plenty to chat about. It adds an element of friendship to the relationship, keeping a parent and adult child close even when they no longer need much parenting.
6. They make in-person visits fun
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Whenever their adult children are able to get off the phone and come visit, great parents make their stay enjoyable. They’ll plan fun activities like going to a local theater or having a cookout. These activities make their children’s stay fun and encourage them to come back.
It also helps parents connect with their adult children. When people do fun things together, it amplifies their individual enjoyment and makes the experience more exciting overall. That shared happiness helps people feel more bonded to whoever they were with for the activity.
That’s why some parents put so much effort into these get-togethers. They don’t want it to just be about seeing each other. These parents want to reaffirm their connection to their children so that the bond will still be there even when their kids go home.
Lily Bell is a college student studying English and Publications who covers relationships, mental health, and personal narratives surrounding the human experience.
