Newly Married Mom Shares How She Created An Autism-Friendly Wedding So Her Daughter Could Enjoy The Event
Her teenage daughter's comfort was paramount.
Joel Santos | Pexels Weddings are generally planned, first and foremost, with the bride and groom in mind. It's their big day, after all. However, that wasn't the case for one recent bride, Jodie Bevan.
When planning her nuptials, Bevan's teenage daughter, Sofia, was top of mind. Sofia has autism spectrum disorder, and her comfort was paramount to the newlyweds. They did everything in their power to ensure the teen could enjoy the festivities.Β
The newly married mom shared how she created an autism-friendly wedding so her daughter could enjoy the event.
"We planned our wedding day around Sofia's needs as a teen with autism and special needs," Bevan said. "How Sofia would be on our day was my biggest worry, but she was honestly incredible, and I couldn't be more proud of her."
Before the event, Bevan informed all of her vendors of Sofia's needs. The bride and groom also took photos with Sofia first, so that she could relax and change into her "comfort clothes." Bevan noted that her daughter had not worn a dress in over a decade, so they made sure it wasn't itchy, too long, or uncomfortable in any way. As for shoes, Sofia wore the white version of the sneakers she wears every day.Β
"Hair is a big sensory trigger for Sofia, so we went for something very simple, no fuss, and went at her pace," the mom added. "The amazing hairdresser even managed to curl it!" Makeup was kept minimal β only skincare and brows.
Lastly, Bevan packed a bag of sensory toys for Sofia. "I packed a bag of all things she likes βΒ toys, pens, paper, iPad, etc. β and placed this on her seat at the wedding breakfast," she said. Above and Beyond Therapy explained that sensory toys are beneficial to people with autism because they "help in focusing, attention, relieving stress, and anxiety, promoting relaxation, focus, and calmness."
Large social events can be difficult for those with autism spectrum disorder.
According to The Autism Research Institute, autism spectrum disorder is characterized by "deficits in social communication and interaction" and "restricted, repetitive behaviors, interests, or activities." It is a spectrum and looks different for everyone.
Some people with autism struggle with large social events, like weddings. With large crowds of people and blaring music, these gatherings, which often last upwards of 7 hours, can be overwhelming and may lead to sensory overload.Β Β
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"Sensory overload is categorised by an intense feeling of overwhelm when the brain gets too much information from the senses β taste, touch, sight, sound, or smell β and cannot process it,"Β The Autism Service explained. "In autistic people, this can trigger a meltdown, whilst in others, it can trigger stress, anxiety, and panic."
There are several other ways to plan an autism-friendly event.
Bevan knows her daughter well and did everything she could to ensure Sofia's comfort during her wedding. Writing for The Knot, Hannah Nowack shared a few additional tips to plan a "sensory-friendly" wedding. Like Bevan, she advised communicating with your vendors in advance and providing fidget toys.
She also suggested creating a sensory-relaxation area. "Weddings are full of stimulants β from speeches and guest chatter to music, lights, and general hustle and bustle. All of these elements, while sometimes fun, can also quickly become a source of over-stimulation," Nowack wrote. "Find a spot that's quiet and slightly removed from the main event space where guests can go to pause and relax. Fill the space with comfortable lounge furniture."
Nowack also said to be mindful of sound and lighting. Loud noise, blaring music, and harsh lighting can be overwhelming for some neurodivergent people. Consider providing earplugs and avoiding strobe or flashing lights.
Most importantly, Nowack stressed the need to be flexible. "Remember that no matter how much you plan, some things may need to be adjusted at the last minute," she said. "One of the best things you can do is to be accommodating and patient rather than getting frustrated by spur-of-the-moment adjustments."
Given the popularity ofΒ child-free weddings, this may seem like a lot of work to ensure one teen can attend the event and have an enjoyable time. However, as Bevan said, "Weddings aren't about perfection β they're about love. And for us, love meant creating a day that felt good for Sofia, too."
Audrey Jaber is a writer and associate editor with a bachelor's degree in journalism.
