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Woman Says Her Mother-In-Law Bought Matching Christmas PJs For Grandkids But Excluded Son's Stepchild

Photo: Christian Bowen via Unsplash / Fab_1 via Shutterstock
kids in matching christmas pajamas, crying boy

A woman took to Facebook to share her hurt and anger over her mother-in-law excluding her daughter when she bought Christmas pajamas for all of her grandkids.

The situation was shared in a Facebook Community called ‘Spotted: Brierley Hill and local’ where people share funny or debatable stories and get them posted for input from others in the group. The post doesn’t identify the mother who shared, nor does it give any additional information on the family, but a picture is worth a thousand words.

A grandmother bought matching PJs for everyone except her stepgrandchild.

In the photo, there are six children sitting in front of a Christmas Tree. An additional child is standing to the left but is partially out of frame. Five of the six kids sitting on the floor are wearing matching onesies with Christmas-related images all over them. The standing child appears to have the same pajama set as his or her siblings. On the far right in the photo, there is one child who happens to be the only one not coordinated with the other kids in the picture.

   

   

The children’s identities are hidden, but the out-of-place child seems to be a girl with a puffy ponytail atop her head. Her features can’t be seen, but something about her body language looks off.

The picture is captioned, “Some people out there with no heart!” along with the title of the email the group received: "A friend of mine is married. Mother-in-law bought matching PJs for all kids EXCEPT the one that doesn’t belong to her son. Is she wrong?"

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As expected, people were taken aback by the fact that any grandmother, biological or not, would purposefully exclude any child in this way.

One commenter shared her own negative experiences with her mother-in-law, posting, “My mother-in-law treats my kids differently from her other grandchildren and they are her sons’ kids.” She continued, “So when that started. I stopped letting them go to her house. She hasn’t acknowledged them since, but you know what? Their lives have been richer for not having a spiteful, petty person like her in their life and they don’t miss her one bit.”

Some people were quick to blame the parents for allowing the situation to unfold. One person posted, “To be absolutely honest the parents are wrong for even letting the other kids wear them, I'd have handed them back and told her they all get, or none get it’s that simple. No one should ever let anyone treat their kids like that.”

Another reader suggested being passive-aggressive with the mother-in-law. She interjected, “I would ask the mother-in-law where she brought them from and nicely tell her because my husband’s stepdaughter/son would like one too, maybe she would get the message then.”

RELATED: Mom Cancels Holiday Plans With Her Parents After What They Said About Her Stepchildren & Asks If She Went Too Far

Blended families have to be careful about excluding new family members.

According to Family Law and Divorce Attorneys at The Marks Law Firm, P.A., feelings of exclusion are one of the most common challenges blended families face. While it's normal to feel a different type of love for biological grandchildren and step-grandchildren, it's crucial for grandparents to try bonding with step-grandchildren. While the relationship may feel and even look different, such as having less physical affection, for example, gifts should at the very least be of equal value.

In this situation, most felt sympathy for the little girl and the way she was treated, pointing out that the parents could have stopped the biological grandchildren from dressing in their matching outfits in front of the stepchild who didn't have one. One woman responded, “That’s so heartbreaking. Poor thing. Totally made that child aware of her feelings and not part of the family! Cruel woman! And you can show her my comment, too!”

The consensus is that the mother and her partner had a duty to stand up for their child and let the grandmother know that her behavior was unacceptable. You can’t control what other people do but you can control how you react.

RELATED: Stepmom Asks If She's Wrong For Making Stepchildren Pay For Their Own Hobbies Using Their Allowance

NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.