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Mom Cancels Holiday Plans With Her Parents After What They Said About Her Stepchildren & Asks If She Went Too Far

Photo: Mikhail Nilov/ Pexels.com
Grandma, Grandchildren

Parents should always prioritize their kid’s well-being over anything, even if it comes at the cost of their family. 

One woman is finding she might just have to do so but is now wondering if she is in the wrong to do so. 

The woman shared the story on Reddit’s “r/AmItheA–hole” (AITA),  a subreddit where users from across the internet ask for advice on a conflict in their lives.

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The woman uninvited her parents after they said her stepchildren weren’t their real grandchildren. 

The woman first gives some much-needed context for the story. 

She's been with her wife, Ava, for eight years and married for five. Ava was a single mom of three kids when they met — a son who is now 16 and daughters who are 12 and 10.

"I’ve watched these kids grow up, I’ve read the bedtime stories, done bath time, the first days of school, PTA meetings, all of it," she writes in her post.

"I very much consider them to be my kids, and they’ve been calling me mom for almost 6 years now."

She also clears up that she legally adopted Ava's kids — making them one big, happy family. 

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Recently, the mother’s brother, Ivan, and the woman he is engaged to, Sara, had a baby girl. 

“I love my niece, and my kids adore their cousin. My kids have been the only grandchildren on my side of the family since Ava and I got together, and there’s never been a moment where the kids and my wife were treated like they didn’t belong,” she writes. 

“My brother is their uncle, my mom and dad are their Nana and Pop— the kids see my family as their family and I always thought that my family felt the same way about them.”

While the family was together at Ivan’s, Nana and Pop came in and surprised them, giving gifts to the baby. 

Ivan apparently laughed when he saw the gifts and said that the grandparents were going to “spoil her rotten.”

The grandmother simply replied since the baby girl was their first grandchild, of course, they had to. 

The woman’s kids were in the living room when this happened and immediately it was apparent they were upset. Sara tried to diffuse the situation, saying, “Oh you mean first grand-baby, not first grandchild.”

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The grandparents reiterated that no, they meant what they said; the baby was their first grandchild. 

The woman swiftly had the kids go to the car and berated her parents for how insensitive they could be. 

“I asked my parents why the hell they’d say that my kids weren’t their grandchildren, and my mom said they couldn’t be their grandchildren because they weren’t really my children.”

Originally, the woman and her wife were supposed to host Thanksgiving at their house but canceled due to what the grandparents said. 

In an update to the post, they have since decided to host again but without the grandparents present. 

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Many Reddit users collectively agree the grandparents were in the wrong, not the mother. 

Family isn’t defined by blood and it’s unfortunate to see that the grandparents don’t think their words hurt. 

Stuff like that can leave serious ramifications, as pointed out by a Reddit user with their own story. 

“I was the child who was told I wasn't really family once someone biological came along. It's been nearly 20 years since that moment and I still remember it as if it was a second ago.”

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Victoria Soliz is a writer with YourTango who covers news and entertainment content. Her work explores pop culture trends, film and TV, and celebrity news