Mom Calls Her Daughter's Wedding A 'Joke' After She Spent $20K But Didn't Feed Any Of The Guests

She explained to her daughter that many of the wedding guests were unhappy with the ceremony.

Guests Throwing Confetti On Couple During Garden Wedding Neustockimages from Getty Images Signature via Canva Pro

A mom is questioning whether she might've done more harm than good after giving her daughter a stark reality check about how she decided to plan her wedding. 

Posting to the subreddit r/AITA, she explained that since her daughter got married, the wedding ceremony has been a huge topic of discussion in their family for all the wrong reasons.

She called her daughter's wedding 'a joke' after she spent $20K but didn't feed the guests.

In her since-deleted Reddit post, she explained that her daughter married over a year ago and spent around $20,000 on the ceremony and reception. While it was a wonderful experience for her,  as she married the love of her life, for the wedding guests in attendance, it wasn't as joyful. Most of the costs were for things she and her new husband could enjoy.


"The reasons it sucked for the guest was due to multiple factors. The biggest ones being that [guests had] to buy food, drinks, and no entertainment. So people get to the wedding, and the ceremony happens," she recalled. 



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While a wedding is mostly for the couple, it's also a celebration for the family and friends in attendance. Overlooking the comfort and enjoyment of guests defeats the entire purpose of having a lavish ceremony in the first place.

The bride's mother admitted that most guests were forced to buy overpriced food since they were starving. The newlywed couple didn't even invest in a cake. Instead, they got one just for decoration. 

Once the wedding was over, the ceremony became a topic of discussion and ridicule among many of the guests.

just married couple in front of guests omelnytskyi / Canva Pro


"My other daughter is getting married and asked for my help. Her sister offered to help, and my other daughter made it clear she doesn’t want her wedding to be anything like hers," she continued. My daughter asked what she meant by that, and I was honest with her. Her wedding wasn’t a good experience for guests, and it is a running joke at this point with family/friends."

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She figured her daughter already knew how people felt about the wedding.

Unfortunately, the reveal that her wedding wasn't what she thought it had been ended up causing a huge argument between them. 

Her daughter accused her of being outright mean by claiming her wedding was just a big joke, but she argued that there were legitimate issues with the wedding, and she wasn't trying to be mean about bringing them up.


"The money basically went to her dress, venue, and photos. I know her dress was $6K. The venue was pricy, and she didn’t get the food package. I was not part of the wedding planning; I was having medical issues," she concluded.

Mom Says Her Daughter's Wedding Is A Joke Because She Spent $20,000 But Didn't Feed Any Of The GuestsPhoto: Iryna Prokofieva / Shutterstock

Weddings can be incredibly expensive, but they don't have to be.

The average ceremony costs around $30,000. However, a wedding doesn't have to cost tens of thousands of dollars, with a huge guest list and an outlandish venue, to mean something truly special and memorable. 


Whether it's an intimate gathering in a backyard, a simple ceremony at a courthouse, or a lavish affair, a wedding's significance lies in the heartfelt moments shared and the accompanying memories created. It's disheartening when that purpose is overshadowed by the need to prioritize opulence over practicality.

backyard wedding reception decor halfpoint / Canva Pro

Commenters agreed that her daughter wasn't thinking about the best interests of her guests, with one Reddit user writing, "Some people are so self-focused that they either can't or won't see the situation through other people's eyes. Your daughter (and her husband) sound like this because it should have been obvious to them that they were creating a very poor experience for their guests."


Another user added, "If you're gonna make guests attend all day: feed them, give them drinks, make sure there's some entertainment. If it's just quick in and out, then it's fair to say everyone pays for their meal at [a] designated restaurant. But there needs to be a plan."

At the end of the day, if you're planning a wedding, more things need to be discussed and considered apart from having a nice dress and a good venue. Couples need to consider the overall experience they want for guests and themselves.

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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.