Gen X Mom Gives Her Daughter Brutal Advice On How To Deal With A School Bully
This mom taught her daughter the value of being able to defend yourself.
AstroStar / Shutterstock A Gen X mother is standing by the controversial piece of advice she gave her daughter, who came home and revealed that she had been physically assaulted by one of her schoolmates. In response, her daughter got some advice she definitely wasn’t expecting: “Hit her back.”
Sharing this advice online, the content creator who goes by @snavillus on TikTok questioned if parents nowadays are still sticking by this mantra when it comes to handling a bully.
The mom told her daughter to hit her school bully back, but the daughter is worried she'll get in trouble if she does.
"Is this parenting style just Gen X, or is everybody like this?" she started her video. "My daughter went to school today and was assaulted by another student. She came home, and told me about it because she didn't really know how to handle it."
After getting this unexpected advice, the daughter was worried that she'd get in trouble at school if she did indeed hit her bully back. Her mom, however, was adamant that if she did, she wouldn't be punished for it.
"If you get in trouble at school, they're just gonna call me and I gave you permission," the mom told her daughter in an attempt to ease her worries. "To assure my daughter that I meant every word that I said, I sent an email to the school, the principal, and the teacher of the classroom where the incident took place."
In the email, the girl's mother informed them of the altercation between her daughter and the other student. She also notified them that if it happens again in the future, her daughter has permission to defend herself. If her daughter and the student were to engage in a physical fight, her daughter would not face any reprimands from her.
Photo: Kiselev Andrey Valerevich / Shutterstock
"I don't give permission to hit first but if someone puts their hands on you, absolutely," she insisted.
There are pros and cons to advising children to hit back if they are provoked.
As parents, teaching your children to stand up and defend themselves against bullying or harm from other people is an important lesson lesson. Encouraging a child to hit back can help establish and communicate personal boundaries, while also teaching them to stand up against actions that make them feel uncomfortable or violated.
In an opinion piece for the Irish Independent, David Coleman, a clinical psychologist, admitted that yes, kids should fight back. Instead of ignoring or walking away from physical aggression, Coleman says children actually benefit from striking back.
"Children feel better if they stand up for themselves and are less likely to be targets the next time," Coleman said. "I think it is fine for children to hear that fighting has its place. I think it is fine for children to believe that it is acceptable to push back against someone who has intentionally pushed them."
On the other hand, this suggestion can obviously lead to a bigger physical altercation between children. You never want to encourage violence as a solution, especially at the risk of your child getting injured or injuring someone else. For an alternative option, parents can teach the value of communication and compromise, and promote assertiveness instead of aggression.
In the end, the decision to encourage children to hit back has to come with serious consideration of the after-effects of this advice. There is value in making sure your children have the right tools to defend themselves, especially when they become adults and start entering the world on their own, but non-violent conflict resolutions are just as helpful and important.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.