'We Unschool Our Kids' — Mom Explains Why She's Not Teaching Her Kids To Read Or Write
"They have to show an interest in something for us to explore it with them."
forsiba | Shutterstock A U.K. couple has revealed the unconventional methods they have chosen when it comes to parenting and educating their three children. With no structured bedtimes or meal times and a unique approach to school that focuses on everything but standard teaching practices, their choices reflect a lifestyle that most couldn't even dream of adopting.
Adele and Matt Allen, who live together in Brighton, U.K., with their children, Ulysses, Ostara, and Kai, have admitted to embracing their parenting style even though it doesn't align with how other parents are raising their children.
Both parents claim they are 'unschooling' their children and not teaching them to read or write.
According to Daily Mail, before having their children, Adele and Matt had started living a "frugal and natural" life, with their habits reflecting that. When they finally did have children, they chose not to stop living that lifestyle.
"We got into natural living before we had our kids, so it just became a natural progression that continued and began to affect all of our decisions after I fell pregnant," Adele said. Both she and Matt have said they have no trust in the healthcare and education system and would rather keep their children away from it at all costs.
"We didn’t do vaccinations for our kids, which people say is cruel of us, and we don’t use the healthcare system. Instead, we use natural and herbal remedies,” the mother of three revealed. “We also don’t use the education system. Instead, we unschool our kids."
"This means they have to show an interest in something for us to explore it with them, instead of following a curriculum and telling them what they are going to learn.”
She continued, saying that she and her partner believe in allowing their children to have complete reign over their own lives and decisions, but clarified that it doesn't mean "no guidance. It's just about involving them in the decisions."
Needless to say, the Allen family's approach has garnered a lot of attention, specifically negative attention, and a 2016 appearance on the British morning show "This Morning" didn't exactly help. Little Ostara, just a toddler at the time, had an accident right on set, and it sparked a backlash.
The mom believes her kids can only benefit from their lifestyle.
Through her and Matt's parenting style, she claimed that she's only seen a positive effect on Ulysses, Ostara, and Kai. Her daughter, Ostara, has recently expressed an interest in sewing, so Adele decided to buy her a sewing machine so she could learn.
She actively posts about their lives on Instagram, and it gives off an almost fairytale quality to their family. It shows only the positive aspects of raising kids in the most natural way possible, but the truth is, the system they very much disagree with is the same system that supports them. This was a point made by UK-based journalist Stacey Dooley, who spent time with the family.
And as she noted, there are many positive aspects to their unconventional lifestyle like added time with the kids and children who are curious to an extent about the world around them, but as Dooley also noted, giving kids all the choices when it comes to what they are want and need is also limiting, and as she noted in some ways, "irresponsible."
The mom updated that Ulysses taught himself to read.
The kids undoubtedly rule the roost at the Allen house, and that includes when, how, and if they learn. They even get to dictate whether they want to bathe or brush their teeth, but that's a whole other topic.
“We just follow their lead. If they want to do a club and try a new group for a little bit, we just provide that for them,” Adele said, according to Daily Mail.
“Our son was 10 years old when he began taking an interest in wanting to read and write. He just picked up pen and paper and taught himself. He wasn’t bothered about us teaching him,” she added. In a YouTube video on the topic, Adele did stress that he doesn't enjoy reading books, and the only reason he took an interest at all was so he could navigate screentime better. We don't know how well he can read, and it seems that not forcing him to read, the way kids much younger than him were forced to read works of literature, might limit what he actually likes. Imagine if you didn't have to read Shakespeare, would you appreciate it if you had never experienced it?
While her parenting approach is quite controversial, Adele isn't worried about her children falling behind and feels that in due time, they will learn all of the things they need to survive in society. “Language is all around them, so they are bound to pick it up. With them not being in a classroom setting, there isn’t the pressure there to do certain things by a certain age.”
“We don’t want [the children] to spend their life doing what other people are telling them to do,” she explained. “We want them to find their passion, and not waste time in their life, so that they know who they are by the time they get around to having kids.”
Regardless of whether you agree with their approach to raising and educating children, no one would ever argue that these parents don't love their kids. They are together, healthy, and making their way in the world in the way they think best serves their children's needs. We don't have to applaud the family's decisions, but we also don't have to criticize them.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
