Psychiatrist Dad Reveals Why He Doesn't Get His 7 Kids Up, Make Breakfast Or Help Them Get Ready For School
He even charges them for rides if they miss the bus.
Monkey Business Images | Shutterstock As kids grow, moms and dads must find new ways to parent in hopes of raising happy, responsible, well-adjusted adults. What worked when they were babies just won't work as they get older. One father of seven recently raised eyebrows when he shared his progressive way of teaching his young children responsibility and discipline.
Richard Wadsworth, a psychiatrist, recently posted a TikTok video detailing his very unique style of rearing his kids. Basically, he lets them fend for themselves. The video starts with several of Wadsworth’s children telling him goodbye as they leave through the front door, presumably headed to school.
A psychiatrist dad explained why he doesn't wake his 7 kids up, make them breakfast, or help them get ready for school.
Dr. Wadworth shared a laundry list of things he does not do for his little ones. “I did not wake them up. I did not get their breakfast ready for them. I did not get them dressed. I did not do their laundry. I did not say a single word about anything that they needed to do in the morning,” Wadsworth confessed.
He added, “I did not tell them to do their homework last night. I did not yell at them that they were going to miss the bus. I did not find their shoes for them.” Wadsworth continued, explaining that he doesn’t even need to watch the clock to make sure his children get to school on time.
He then posed the rhetorical question of whether or not his decision to make his kids accountable for themselves means he’s a terrible parent. The doctor talked about the attributes of what society believes a "good parent" is: waking kids, feeding them, keeping time on their behalf, and so on.
The psychiatrist-dad said he used to be a traditionally ‘good parent’ until he found a better way.
Wadsworth said he used to be a hands-on parent, responsible for every little aspect of his kids’ lives. However, with seven kids in his home, it’s easy to understand how that would not be sustainable.
He explained that his prior parenting style wasn’t working for his children or for him. According to Wadsworth, “The hardest part of parenting is not rescuing your kids constantly.”
He asserted that if we never allow our kids to take accountability for their own lives, they will lack responsibility throughout life. He's not wrong. “Accountability is a way to take responsibility for actions you’re in charge of,” Priya Tahim, a licensed professional counselor and founder of Kaur Counseling, told HuffPost. “By teaching kids personal accountability, you’re teaching them that mistakes happen and when those mistakes happen, it’s important to learn to fix or grow from them.”
His kids are autonomous and understand that they are in the driver’s seat of their own lives.
Natallia Ramanouskaya | Shutterstock
Like most parents, Wadsworth was stressed out when he had to provide for his children, meet their moment-to-moment needs, and make time for himself. To combat that, he has taught his kids to have the mindset that their success is an inside job, but there are occasions when they will come to him with a problem, such as a lack of clean clothing.
Instead of jumping up and helping them find something to wear, the doctor turns the situation into a teachable moment, asking, “Well, why haven’t you been doing your laundry?” This reminds them that they are the sole person they should look to when something within their wheelhouse has been overlooked.
Wadsworth also said that if his children happen to miss the bus in the morning, it will cost them money to get a ride to school. To get that money, they would need to take on additional chores.
Kids need to understand that their actions have consequences.
As the video neared its end, the good doctor admonished parents about protecting their children from the repercussions of their actions and behavior. He clarified that we should acknowledge and support our kids when something happens to them, but if their angst is caused by their own inactions or failures, “keep the ball in their court.”
Clinical psychologist Jenny Yip, Psy.D., ABPP, told HuffPost, “Accountability means taking ownership of the decisions and the choices you make, and accepting whatever consequences those choices come with. It’s important for every young child to learn so that they understand cause and effect and how the choices they make have consequences, positive or negative.”
Wadsworth also consoled parents struggling with these lessons in accountability and independence, letting them know that teaching kids to be their own people isn't easy. However, he stressed that it's necessary because older kids with no discipline will grow up at a disadvantage.
He closed with these wise words: “Your kids are much smarter and more capable than you think they are. It’s just that they think these things are your responsibility, so they don’t worry about them.”
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that deliver informative and actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
