Kids Raised To Choose Kindness Even When It’s Hard Often Develop A Strength The World Doesn’t Naturally Teach
Yan Krukau | Canva Some kids are indeed more innately sensitive and kind. It comes easily to them to care for others, almost instinctual. They were raised to choose kindness even when it’s hard — and children who do develop a strength the world doesn’t naturally teach. Most kids learn kindness from a variety of life experiences, their teachers and peers, and of course, their primary caregivers.
Research has suggested that parents play a significant role in molding what children have been genetically given, and they must teach children kindness early on in their lives. Over time, choosing kindness becomes more than just having good manners, and kids raised this way often build stronger relationships and carry a sense of inner confidence that comes from following the Golden Rule, which is to treat other people the way that they'd want to be treated.
Kids raised to choose kindness even when it’s hard often develop a strength the world doesn’t naturally teach:
1. Kids raised to choose kindness show themselves compassion
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Kindness starts with the examples kids are given. If you can show yourself compassion, you can genuinely model it to someone else. Make self-care and self-compassion your biggest priorities because if you don't, you won’t have any kindness to give anyone else. Treat yourself to an ice cream, a nap, or a massage. Forgive yourself when you mess up or go through a difficult time. Fill up your kindness tank first.
Leadership coach Kavita Melwani explained, "Self-compassion is the ability to view yourself as an inherently flawed human being. It is when you can talk to yourself with the same voice you would use with a friend. When you can view what you are doing, how you look, and your actions with patience, understanding, and loving energy, then that is self-compassion."
2. Kids raised to choose kindness naturally give back to others
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Teach your kids everyday kind gestures: When they observe you giving someone an unexpected gift or merely extending a compliment. Talk about the act of kindness afterward to reinforce your actions: "Did you see Mary's face when she opened the card? She was crying tears of joy. It made me so happy to see her that way!" Show them that caring for others is a vital part of life.
Research supports that demonstrating kindness toward others (and yourself) helps your kids see kindness in action. Volunteer at a food bank or shelter and let them witness the impact of your actions on someone else's life.
3. Kids raised to choose kindness develop a strong sense of empathy
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Let your kids experience what it’s like to feel someone else's pain or their joy. Allow them to walk in another's shoes both within the family and outside communities. Help your kids to see there is never a reason to tear someone else down to build yourself up, to belittle or embarrass someone, to show intolerance or hate, or to harm another living soul. Show your kids that everyone is valuable and equally deserving of kindness.
Regularly, get kids involved in caring for younger siblings and connect them with older adults. One study helped explain how exposing kids to a broader range of perspectives, encouraging curiosity instead of judgment, and promoting inclusivity are great ways to develop empathy.
4. Kids raised to choose kindness know how to regulate their emotions
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Help your kids to see there are positive, healthy, and productive ways to process and channel their emotions. Frustration, anger, and jealousy may come up, and these feelings may be okay, but not always appropriate or helpful to act out.
Research has explored the importance of teaching our kids to identify their emotional triggers and how to manage them. Practice deep breathing with your kids, counting to ten, or stepping back or out of the room until they can regroup, regain their perspective, and act more considerately on their own.
5. Kids raised to choose kindness often develop an optimistic mindset
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Notice when your child is demonstrating kindness. Tell them, "That was so kind of you to…" and clearly explain the positive difference they made. Be careful not to scold them or shame your kids when they forget a thank you. Instead, stick to praising them when they are well-behaved, able to control their emotions, and in a ready place to show others consideration, empathy, and generosity.
"Spending time thinking happy thoughts might sound simplistic, but it works," asserted life coach Kelly Rudolph. "As you practice, you'll start to feel happier more often. This is a method of positive psychology, and it works to help your brain foster a positive attitude. Essentially, you're putting your brain on a detour from the negative aspects of a situation, and helping push positive affirmations of happiness and peace instead. "
6. Kids who were raised to choose kindness often thrive later in life
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Being kind can open doors in life — making new friends, getting along at the office, establishing enduring love relationships, bonding with the family, and interacting with members of society. You can't live a fulfilled life without being kind to others and genuinely embracing kindness. Beyond the immediate benefits for yourself, kindness matters to others — it matters to the world.
Today is an era of entitlement and speed, where short attention spans prevail, and social media acceptance drives a lot of behavior. Bullying and cyberbullying seem more prominent and rampant. Sadly, some kids can become cruel and vengeful instead of respectful, giving, and loving.
Studies have shown that even sweet kids can develop self-esteem and emotional regulation issues right under their parents' noses. These can fester and result in unwanted behaviors that spill over into other parts of your kids' lives, too.
Kindness is a decision you make at the moment to make someone's life better. With one smile, one look of understanding, one gesture, or one word, you can change a life. Make a difference and show your kids what kindness looks like and how they can be kind themselves.
When you've shown your kids that kindness matters, they will be responsible members of your community and get more joy out of life. Your kids will one day thank you for teaching them about self-compassion, doing unto others, empathy, and channeling their emotions for good.
You will be proud that you raised great kids who will positively enrich the lives of others they meet and will do great things for themselves, their kids, and the world.
Lisa Petsinis is a certified life and career coach who works with burnt-out individuals to reconnect to what matters, find their perfect work, and create more joy, meaning, and success.
