Husband Refuses To Watch His Baby While His Wife Is Out Of Town
His lack of support has left his wife feeling like they aren't a "strong enough" couple.
PR Image Factory | Shutterstock A wife questioned if she was overreacting after her husband adamantly refused to watch their baby while she traveled out of town. Posting about it on the subreddit "r/AmIOverreacting," the 36-year-old mom claimed that her husband showed absolutely zero initiative when it came to taking care of their 9-month-old baby on his own, leaving her to question the dynamic of her marriage.
While being a parent is hard work, being a mom is harder. For many women, a two-parent household isn't even really a help, and for far too long, dads have been given a free pass to be bystander parents who are around for the fun and fanfare but dip when there's real work to be done.
A wife said her husband refused to watch their baby while she was out of town.
Dusan Petkovic | Shutterstock
"I am going out of town for a few days, my husband refuses to watch the baby while I’m gone. He basically said I could just take her with me," she began in her Reddit post. "And I could… but he’s her dad and I’m at a loss as to why he won’t watch her for four days."
She explained that while her best friend offered to watch her daughter, she felt that her husband should be able to do it, no questions asked. She admitted that she wasn't too happy with her husband's lack of enthusiasm about watching their baby, and claimed that she wanted to talk about it but didn't think they were "strong enough" to have that conversation.
Considering she's only going away for a short amount of time, he should be more than capable of looking after his own child. He's the baby's father, after all. That means that he's responsible for being a father. It's as simple as that.
Sadly, this mom's experience is not uncommon. According to a survey by BabyCenter, 82% of mothers reported managing more of the childcare logistics than their partner does. On top of all the other responsibilities on a wife and mother's plate, having to put all of their energy into childcare, as well, can be the straw that breaks the camel's back, especially when you have a husband who is supposed to at least offer a bit of support. In this case, her husband should be more willing to step up and share the load, considering that's what parenting is all about.
The husband has to realize that he doesn't get to pick and choose when he wants to be a parent.
"Being a parent isn't a part-time gig. It's a bloody full-time, overtime, all the damn time thing. Yeah, it's tough, but no passing the buck when it's not convenient. Stand your ground, mama. You both made that cute lil bundle of joy, he needs to man up and do his part," one Redditor pointed out.
Another commenter chimed in, "I do not know your relationship or your husband, but I imagine this belief/behavior stems from one of two places in the mind. Either a lack of interest from a lackluster man, or someone who understands themselves well enough to know that it's a poor decision and could end badly due to their own negligence or tendency for distraction."
One person simply pointed out, "Any number of reasons are possible, but none of them are a good excuse for this, I just think it's important to dissect social conflicts and their substrate to develop a better understanding of the dynamic."
If he wasn't willing to be a parent, he shouldn't have had kids. Frankly, the two of them should sit down and have a tough conversation about what they expect from each other and their marriage. The excuse of not being "strong enough" will only leave room for more conflict down the line. Open communication is one of the most important things to making any relationship last, and when it comes to parenting, they'd better get to talking.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
