Burned Out Husband Jealous Of His ‘Wonderful’ Wife's 'Cool' Life
He's certainly not alone when it comes to parental burnout. And he needs to tell his wife.
Peopleimages.com - YuriArcurs | Canva Pro Pretty much everyone is approaching critical levels of burnout nowadays, and studies have shown that no group is feeling the crunch more than working parents. For one dad on Reddit, it's got him seriously down. But it's not just the workload of providing and parenting that is getting to him; it's that his wife finds time for things outside work and mothering. And it's got him feeling really envious of her lifestyle.
There's no denying that this husband loves and appreciates his wife, but his outlook on his own life has got him looking at how she spends her time and feeling a little jealous.
The burned-out husband is jealous of his wife's 'cool' life.
The dad wrote on Reddit to vent his frustrations about the huge contrast between his and his wife's lives. He was quick to note that his wife is "wonderful" and deserves the fantastic life she leads. Nevertheless, he can't help but bristle.
"My wife works two days a week, one weekend day and one weekday, while I work full time making the large majority of our income," he wrote in his Reddit post. Despite her scant schedule, she works a "very important" job as an ICU nurse, "and she is a great mom, does a ton of housework, and is all around a wonderful person," he went on to say. "I’m fully taking all of that into account when I vent here."
Now that their kids are in school, his wife has tons of free time. He has hardly any.
Their two children have just returned to school, and that means his wife has "a TON of free time to do whatever she wants," including yoga, surfing, lunches with friends, hikes, and working on "fun little projects" she enjoys.
"She leads a super cool life!" he wrote. "The problem is that I’d love to have that same life, too!" Especially since they share many of the same interests, he can't help but think about how much he'd enjoy joining her. But instead, "I work all the time, making all the money that allows her and the kids to lead amazing lives."
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He was quick to point out that given the demands of her job and what she went through during the pandemic at work, he thinks she absolutely deserves the life she's living, and more.
"When it’s the weekend, my 'free time' is largely attending obligatory activities like kids’ sporting events and extended family activities, or doing house maintenance stuff, often while solo parenting," he went on to say. "I don’t dislike these things by any means, but it’s not exactly free time."
His situation is increasingly common among working parents.
Many on Reddit were quick to scold his wife for living such a free-wheeling life while he feels increasingly isolated, but he explained that his career path means that the two of them switching places just isn't feasible, even if they wanted to.
He also wrote that he loves being an involved father, even if it does eat up what would otherwise be his free time. "I love my kids and coach their teams and drag them all over the place to do awesome stuff," he said. "I’m just burned out from it all, and it can also feel like work, more than it should."
He is absolutely not alone. Recent studies have shown that working parents are feeling more overwhelmed than ever before, especially since the pandemic. A 2022 study at The Ohio State University found that 66% of parents meet the criteria for burnout, which the study defined as feeling so exhausted by parenting that they have nothing more to give.
The problem is so prevalent that in 2024, back when, you know, we had a government, the Surgeon General of the United States issued a health advisory about the "mental health and well-being of parents."
That information doesn't help this guy much, however, and while he says there's nothing logistically that can really be done about the situation, that isn't going to ease the resentment. He needs to talk to his wife about how burned out he feels, even if only to feel heard. Because the envy he's feeling is only going to make that burnout worse.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.
