Husband Receives A Text In The Middle Of Dinner With His In-Laws That They Would Like Him To Take His Hat Off At The Table

"Why is it so upsetting? It's just a piece of apparel."

man, hat, in-laws, dinner Valmedia / Shutterstock

While out to dinner with his in-laws, a man learned that his attire was keeping them from enjoying their meal. His wife sent him a text message from underneath the table telling him that her parents would “appreciate it” if he changed his appearance.

However, the man thought his in-laws were making a mountain out of a molehill.

The man’s in-laws were bothered by him wearing a hat at dinner.

In a TikTok video that has been viewed nearly 700,000 times, stand-up comedian Nick Alex shared the near-disastrous dinner outing with his in-laws — all because of a hat.


“In the middle of the meal, I received a text from my wife that said, ‘I think my parents would really appreciate it if you took your hat off,’” Alex said.

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While Alex did end up removing his hat, he did not realize how much it truly bothered his in-laws until after his wife told him what she overheard at the table.

“My wife overheard my mother-in-law lean into my father-in-law and say, ‘Does he ever take that goddamn hat off?’” Alex reported.

Some restaurants, especially those with a certain level of formality or elegance, may have dress codes that reflect traditional standards of decorum. Wearing a hat may be seen as too casual and disrespectful.

However, Alex said that it was not his intent. “I’m losing my hair. I mean, I like to keep a hat on as much as I can,” he explained.

man in sunglasses wearing black baseball hat blackrancho / Canva Pro


Alex said he does not understand the big fuss over wearing hats in formal settings.

“I’m so far away from living in a reality where somebody having their hat on bothers me because food is being ingested,” he said. “Why is it so upsetting? It’s just a piece of apparel.”

Alex compared being bothered by someone wearing a hat while eating dinner to being upset with someone for eating with their socks on. Socks, like hats, are optional pieces of apparel people choose whether or not to wear while eating, and they should not hinder anyone else’s dining experience.

@imlovingattention Replying to @psychicpoemshopwhere was Tony Soprano when I needed him? 😅😂 #hats #dontwearhatsinside #goodmanners ♬ original sound - 💗💀✨IMLOVINGATTENTION✨💀💗

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“For some reason, she [Alex’s mother-in-law] couldn’t see my scalp, and it bothered her that I was eating lobster ravioli the entire time while it was happening,” he said.

Alex also noted that a man eating near them was wearing a toupee. “You mad about his hat?!” he sarcastically remarked. In fact, Alex felt that he did the more “respectable” thing by keeping his hat on so that no one would notice his balding scalp.

Despite his in-laws’ unreasonable beliefs regarding hats, Alex said that he loves them and confessed that he is nicer to them than he is to his own parents.

“They asked me to take my hat off; I take it off. If my own mom asked me to take my hat off at the dinner table, I’m putting a second one on,” he said. 


Others shared the same opinion as Nick regarding hats at dinner. 

“Etiquette wise to me it’s so much worse to be opinionated and try to tell others what to do,” one TikTok user commented.

“I literally don’t care what anyone is doing anymore. If you are being nice and normal, you’re welcome at my table,” another user wrote.

“Just get yourself a bad toupee for the next time, then maybe they’ll appreciate the cap!!” another user suggested.

Back in the day, removing your hat upon entering a building, including a restaurant, was a sign of respect. This tradition dates back to times when hats were worn more frequently and served practical purposes.


Removing a hat indoors was a gesture of respect and politeness.

However, over time, societal attitudes toward hats have changed as norms are evolving. Many casual dining environments are more lenient about people wearing hats today. 

@hannahchody I can’t be the first person to think this. Whats everyone’s fave humble brag hat i need to know #thoughts ♬ original sound - Hannah Chody

Frankly, it is none of our business nor our right to question why someone is wearing a hat or to ask them to remove it, but perhaps in Alex's case he could make a compromise. A more formal hat rather than a baseball cap, for example.


For all we know, the diner in the cap could be going through cancer treatments and are self-conscious about their hair loss. Wearing a hat could minimize their insecurities out in public.

There should be absolutely no issue in dining out with someone who chooses to wear a hat; your food will still taste exactly the same.

Should someone wear a coat or a pair of pants that you are not fond of to dinner, you would likely have the decency to keep your opinions to yourself.

The same applies to hats!

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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.