How To Deal With A Disrespectful Mother-In-Law

A disrespectful mother-in-law may not be what you envisioned as part of the package, but dealing with her is a must.

Last updated on Jul 05, 2023

mother in law facing off with daughter in law YAKOBCHUK VIACHESLAV / Shutterstock

The other day I complimented my friend Tina on her cardigan. It was a long so you could wear it with leggings. The cardigan looked comfortable and stylish, so I said, "I love your cardigan." She responded saying, "Thanks, my mother-in-law gave it to me for my birthday."

I replied, "That was nice of her." Tina stated back, "Yeah, she gave it to me and then said it is perfect because it will cover your butt."


Now my friend already has a complex about her booty, and when her mother-in-law said the cardigan is great for her to cover, what I think is her greatest ass-et, she was flabbergasted, hurt, and felt judged.

RELATED: How To Deal With Your Critical Mother-In-Law


I won’t lie, when Tina revealed what her mother-in-law said, I was like, "Ouch that sucks!" But I also knew what was going on. I asked Tina, does your mother-in-law have a bigger booty?

Tina said, "Yes actually she does have a bigger behind." (I am trying to see how many ways I can say "ass" in this post). She went on to say how she is somewhat self-conscious about it?

I was like, "Tina, that is why she gave you that cardigan and the comment as a gift. It had little to do with you and everything to do with your mother-in-law."

To Tina’s mother-in-law, it was common place to be totally insecure with her butt, and that is what spilled over onto my friend Tina as a back handed comment. As soon as Tina made the connection, something shifted for her—more understanding.


How To Deal With A Disrespectful Mother-In-Law

Remember that it has everything to do with her.

So, that is my greatest guidance for you. When you get a side of sarcasm, or other disrespectful comment that feels horrible from your mother or mother-in-law. It has everything to do with her, and nothing to do with you. Remember that.

She will compliment you for the things she compliments herself on and get down on you for the things she gets down on herself about. So, here is my stance, don’t take it personally because she really doesn't mean it the way it sounds when it comes out of her mouth.

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Try to have some compassion.

A little compassion for your mother-in-law will take you the distance. You can even take it up a notch, by complimenting her on those things she gets down on herself about.


This would really seal the deal around you getting poked less by her and changing her dialogues about herself. Can we say, "Win Win!"

RELATED: 12 Signs You Have A Jealous Mother-In-Law & What To Do About It

Kavita J Patel is a relationship expert, who helps women at a breaking point in their relationships. From her experience she has created a 3-step process to helping women create outrageously happy relationships.