Kids Raised By Parents Who Talked Badly About Others Usually Carry 6 Habits Into Adulthood
ShU studio | Shutterstock When kids grow up in a household where their parents regularly badmouth others, that negativity can affect them and their behavior.
Parents who love to gossip or be negative about other people aren't teaching their kids kindness and empathy. Sadly, they’ll carry these lessons into adulthood with behavior that not only mimics what they saw their parents do, but impacts their ability to have authentic and loving relationships.
Habits kids raised by parents who badmouth others usually carry into adulthood:
1. They gossip
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A habit that kids can pick up from parents who like to talk about other people is gossiping. They’ll see their parents doing it all the time and think it’s normal. They probably won’t realize how hurtful they’re being if they start gossiping about someone else.
They get accustomed to people gossiping from an early age, and it desensitizes them to it. They’ll probably think everyone likes to gossip as much as they do. A lot of people will get worked up about something and gossip about it. The difference is that they’ll feel worse than somebody who thinks it’s a normal behavior.
2. They struggle to trust others
When kids hear their parents constantly talk badly about other people, they will grow into adults who struggle to trust others. How could they not? The two people they trust most in the world taught them that.
They'll think everyone is talking about them behind their back, and it will seriously damage all of their relationships. Friends will be kept at arm's length, and romantic relationships will be superficial at best.
3. They are quick to judge others
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Gossip is a little addictive in a way. It’s exciting and secretive. I’m sure everyone’s been judgmental at some point, and it can feel good to talk to other people about it. It’s almost like they’re validating the frustration.
Still, people who are raised with parents who didn’t gossip learned that they should try their hardest not to judge others. It can make people feel really self-conscious and uncomfortable about who they are. Kids raised with parents who always talked badly about other people didn’t learn this lesson.
They saw how much fun their parents had making fun of other people and probably enjoyed doing it themselves when they were growing up. They’ll carry their judgmental personality throughout their life, and it’ll probably make people avoid them.
4. They struggle with conflict, preferring to avoid it
How to handle conflict is a big lesson kids learn from their parents. Parents who frequently share with others and practice kindness even when there’s an issue teach their kids to act the same way.
But kids who were raised with parents who always talk badly about other people didn’t get to learn those lessons. Their parents showed them that when they’re upset with someone else, they shouldn’t go to them and address it directly. They should talk about them behind their back instead.
These kids will end up relying on gossip to work through their issues instead of talking them out with whoever they’re mad at. They’ll become avoidant of conflict, and it won’t help them resolve issues as easily. The other person will probably just end up getting more mad that they’re talking about them behind their back.
5. They are self-conscious
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When people get stressed that someone’s talking badly about them, they'll often start to feel bad about themselves. They’ll get stuck criticizing themselves even if no one else is doing it.
Kids raised in this environment get used to that insecurity. They’ll become self-conscious overall because they’re constantly analyzing their behavior to see what people might be saying about them. Anxiety often causes people to change their behaviors. These people will hide parts of themselves because they assume people criticize them.
It will make them even unhappier, and it probably caused their parents the same emotion. They didn’t see their parents address this, and so they probably won’t either.
6. They struggle with empathy
Kids raised by parents who badmouth others often struggle to be empathetic. They don't see their parents do it or see them feel guilty about their behavior. They’ll learn it's okay to be mean to someone rather than learn to show compassion.
They won’t exercise their empathy, and it’ll cause them to lack it overall. Gossiping is pretty hurtful behavior. It can really harm someone's mental health when people spread hurtful rumors about them. By continuing to do that, their parents teach them that empathy isn't important.
They don't practice empathizing with other people, so their kids won't either. It will become a skill they might never develop, and they'll struggle to show it to other people/
Lily Bell is a college student studying English and Publications who covers relationships, mental health, and personal narratives surrounding the human experience.
