Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X & Boomers Have Completely Different Opinions On Going No Contact With Family
Goksi | Shutterstock The decision to cut someone close to you off isn’t an easy one. That’s why each generation has its own attitude towards going no contact.
It's definitely becoming more common, though. There are so many more people willing to go no contact with their families that therapist William Doherty thinks “we’re at a cultural tipping point.”
Younger generations are more comfortable with going no contact with family than older ones.
With views on mental health changing with the times, estrangement has started to look less scary and more like a necessity to many younger people. But older gens, especially boomers, still think it’s best to try to work things out.
Boomers only go no contact with family when it’s absolutely necessary.
As an older generation, boomers aren’t used to the idea that you can just cut off family. A survey from Talkspace and Talker Research found that only 20% of boomers had gone no contact with a family member or friend in the last year, the least of any generation.
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Boomers tend to be more traditional than younger generations, which includes their family values. They believe that their family deserves respect and loyalty. When someone gets hurt, they’re expected to put themselves in the other person’s shoes instead of rushing to judgment.
That doesn’t mean that boomers never go no contact. There are some situations where there’s simply no other option. But it’s a last resort for them that feels pretty taboo.
Gen X prefers to keep decisions to go no contact quiet and drama-free.
Several things affect Gen X’s views on going no contact. First, they’ve been nicknamed the sandwich generation because they’re helping their elderly parents and young adult children at the same time. That puts them right in the middle of conflicting opinions on estrangement.
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Gen X was also expected to take care of themselves while their parents were at work as latchkey kids. They developed a strong sense of independence early in their lives, so expecting other people to solve their problems feels totally unnatural to them.
38% of Gen X chose to go no contact in the last year, which is more than boomers, but still not a huge number. They like dealing with things on their own. They would be more likely to lose touch with someone over time instead of directly confronting them about going no contact.
Millennials go no contact with family when they know it’s the best option for their mental health.
People didn’t really talk openly about mental health before the millennial generation. They normalized being honest about their problems and seeking treatment when needed.
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Instead of thinking of going no contact as something to do when a family member was too much to deal with, millennials recognized that it was a way to protect their mental health and stop the cycle of hurt they caused.
Half of them went no contact in the last year, but they wouldn’t describe it as cutting someone out of their life. For them, it’s the best way to set boundaries to start healing from childhood trauma. It’s a conscious choice that they don’t take lightly.
Gen Z loves their families, but they’re also the most likely to cut them off.
Gen Z is full of contradictions. A Gallup survey found that they wish their parents understood them better. At the same time, they love their parents and take their opinion of them seriously.
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A lot of people assume that Gen Z is willing to go no contact over really minor issues. And, at 60%, more members of this generation went no contact with someone in the last year than any other. But that doesn’t mean they enjoy it.
Like millennials, Gen Z is very aware of their mental health. They also think respect is something that needs to be earned. Being related isn’t a good enough reason for them to keep someone in their life when that person is hurting them.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
