A Man’s Ex-Wife Asks Him To Pay For The Baby She Had While Cheating On Him — He Refuses

It is not his child. Why should the responsibility be his?

Tired mom holding crying baby. Pro-stock Studio via Shutterstock

A frustrated father took to Reddit for advice on what to do about his wife’s child. I say “wife’s” because it’s not his. 

That’s right, his now ex-wife had an affair that resulted in another child.

A man's ex-wife is asking him to financially support her affair baby.

According to the post, he caught his wife having an affair while pregnant with what he thought was their third child.

She readily admitted that the baby she was pregnant with might not be his, and upon that admission, he filed for divorce. He added, "took a DNA test when her youngest was born, and she was not mine."


divorce image with contract and rings adventtr / Canva Pro

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When it came to his kids, he was eager to help support them despite the marriage ending. He wrote, "So, in the divorce, custody, and support was only factored in for our two kids. I paid some child support because I made more than her, but we had 50-50 custody time with the kids, and I remained an involved dad." 


Understandably, he did not want to care for his ex's youngest, a child that was not his. 

His ex moved in with her affair partner and lived with him until "he took off without a word," and according to his post, managed to evade her attempts at securing child support. "This has led to her struggling, and I buy more for the kids we share so they don't suffer because of the failed relationship with the affair partner."

His generosity to his own kids did not extend to her affair baby, however.

Here's where things get prickly. Because the dad offered more money to help her provide for his own kids, his ex felt emboldened to ask for a little more

worried mom texting with baby in her lap SDI Productions / Canva Pro


He explained, "My ex told me she was struggling to keep up with the expenses for her youngest, and she asked me if I would maybe buy some stuff that included her, too. I said no, that I was responsible for my kids, and I would not become financially responsible in any way for the child she made while cheating on me." 

She was upset, arguing that without his help, her kids would "have different lives" from each other. Still, he didn't budge.

RELATED: Dad Considers Going 'No Contact' With His Daughter After She Admits To Helping Cover Up His Wife's Affair

As a last resort, she brought his kids into the matter and tried to get them to convince their father to pay for the baby. 

The kids knew the baby was their half-sister but became "confused" when their mother told them, “A good man takes care of his children” and “Loving a child that is part of your family should not be hard.” 


His kids told him that their mom had asked them to speak to him and try to convince him to help financially. Frustrated, he told his children that the baby was not his. He told them about the DNA test and that she became pregnant while they were together, but he was not her father.

He said the children understood, but their mother was still upset. 



Marital infidelity is a hard thing to overcome, especially when a child is born of an affair.

Attorney Vanessa Prieto explained that not all affairs end marriages if you put in the work. However, bringing a child into it makes it much more complicated. 


While it is the choice of the victimized partner whether or not they want to remain in the relationship and raise the child, they are not obligated to. Instead, the mom should put more effort into actively trying to locate her youngest's biological father and let him contribute to his daughter's care. 

Commenters on the dad's post agreed that it was unreasonable for the mom to ask her ex to help her support a baby that isn't his, but like with any relationship, it's not always so cut and dry right and wrong. 

siblings playing in a field Younona / Canva Pro


No, this dad is not and should not be financially responsible for a child that is not his, but this little baby is still his biological children's sibling. That makes things much more complicated. There is no doubt that the money going to his kids will also be going to this baby. Whether it's a dinner out or a household expense paid, he can draw a hard line and say he refuses to contribute to her care, but that's just not the reality.

Should it obligate him to pay more? No. But when the mom wants to throw one of his kids a birthday party and asks the dad to buy the cake, it's also unreasonable for him to say he'll only pay for the slices his kids eat.

Madison Piering is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team specializing in human interest and pop culture topics.