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Dad Disinherits One Stepchild After His Divorce But Not The Other

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upset man sitting on the floor and looking out window

A stepfather is being labeled a "monster" after admitting to only including his biological children and one stepchild in his will, instead of both of his stepchildren.

Posting to the subreddit "r/AITAH," a man claimed that he got into a fight with his stepdaughter which ended with changing his will.

He disinherited his stepdaughter but kept his stepson included in the will.

In his Reddit post, he explained that he and his ex-wife, Vanessa, divorced just two years ago after 23 years of marriage. During their time together, he became a stepfather to Vanessa's children, Carla, now 27, and her son.

"It was a painful divorce because after Vanessa and I entered our mid-40s," he admitted, "It felt like I always fulfilled my obligation to fulfill her emotionally and financially. However, Vanessa turned a blind eye to the fact that I was being neglected romantically."

Dad Disinherits One Stepchild After His Divorce But Not The OtherPhoto: Maridav / Canva Pro

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He eventually filed for divorce after his wife accused him of cheating on her.

Vanessa's accusation caused a rift between him and Carla. He claimed that it's incredibly difficult for the two of them to speak now, and it feels as if they communicate more as acquaintances than family.

"Vanessa and I have two kids of our own, now 18 and 13. I have recently remarried and my wife has a 4-year-old son and we recently found out that we are expecting," he continued. "Our new blended family has adjusted remarkably well and it's the first time in a while since I've felt contentment at home."

He insisted that it felt good to not have to work hard at being happy in his own home, however, with a new baby on the way, he and Carla have found themselves in a bit of a cold war, which was exacerbated by their small-town life. He claimed that Carla had not reached out to him and with everything going on, he didn't think it was wise for him to reach out and speak to her.

The main reason why his stepdaughter is upset is because he offered a job to his new wife's sister, Allie.

He recalled previously talking to Carla about an unpaid internship at his real estate company for when she graduated from her post-grad program, but then the divorce happened and he ended up tabling the discussion. After hearing about how much Allie didn't like the job she was in, he felt bad and offered her an assistant property management position at his company. 

"Carla is mad because Allie's mom started saying that her daughter didn't finish high school but was now making $70k a year plus annual bonuses and that you didn't need a GED or a trade to earn money," he added. "Carla was upset and said she also hated how distant I've been. Our fight shocked me because it's the first time since the divorce I was being questioned on everything and made to feel I'm doing everything wrong."

Dad Disinherits One Stepchild After His Divorce But Not The OtherPhoto: Monkey Business Images / Canva Pro

After eventually cooling down from the fight with his stepdaughter, he realized that with his baby coming and getting older, he needed to finalize his estate. After consulting his lawyer, he learned that there's no obligation to include an adult biological child, much less a former stepchild.

He decided that with the lack of a relationship with his stepdaughter, he would only include his current wife, biological children, and his stepson from his marriage with Vanessa. 

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In the comments section, people agreed that he was being selfish by not including his stepdaughter. 

"At the end of the day it’s your money and conscience so do as you will but you raised your stepdaughter for 23 of her 27-year-old life …" one Reddit user pointed out. "I also don't comprehend how one can parent someone for that long and just drop them out of their life as if they didn't matter."

"Just because she’s an adult and not your bio kid, doesn't mean that she isn't going through the motions of someone whose bio parents are divorcing … has it ever occurred to you that she pulled away because she was processing the loss of a parental figure in her life?"

Another user added, "You threw Carla away along with your wife. It's not her fault that you filed for divorce, but it seems like you are trying to punish her too. You should have been the one to reach out to Carla, and you should have continued the intern discussion during the divorce."

"I've known my stepmom for as long as you’ve known Carla. My stepmom raised me. I consider her my mother. I’d be hurt, feel abandoned, unwanted, devastated, [and] angry if something like that happened. I’d also be upset [if] you chose the new wife’s sister over the girl you raised for the internship or you couldn’t find an accommodative way to get them both jobs," a third user chimed in.

This man should try to rebuild a relationship with his stepdaughter who he raised like his own.

While Carla may be a grown adult, she probably still considers him to be a parental figure in her life. She lost that bond after the divorce and as her dad, for all intents and purposes, this man should be tasked with rebuilding their relationship.

Blended families can be extremely complex, but they can also be loving and compassionate, you just need to put in the effort to bridge the gap of hostility or anger if it exists.

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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.