Adults Who Never Got Punished Growing Up Almost Always Say These 11 Phrases When They Don't Get Their Way

Getting disciplined as a child helps an individual become a successful adult when they get older. They are less likely to struggle with the notion that they are superior to everyone else and more likely to practice self-control.

When a child is not disciplined, they develop an irrational sense of entitlement and struggle to emotionally cope with not getting their way as they grow up. It usually causes them to respond to not getting their way by saying these phrases often.

Adults who never got punished growing up almost always say these 11 phrases when they don't get their way

1. 'That's not fair'

adults who never got punished growing up almost always say these phrases when they don't get their way that's not fair Kyryk Ivan / Shutterstock

An adult who was not disciplined as a child will likely say that something is not fair when they do not get their way. Without consequences for their actions growing up, they have developed a sense of entitlement.

Having an exaggerated sense of entitlement makes them believe that they should always get exactly what they want. Parents who allow their children to do and get whatever they want risk their children growing up with a warped sense of entitlement.

“Expecting to get your way and being upset when that does not occur is a damning trait. Being demanding proves costs to relationships of all sorts and interferes with both intimate and more superficial ties,” explains Mary Ann Little, a clinical psychologist.

2. 'Why should I have to do that'

adults who never got punished growing up almost always say these phrases when they don't get their way why should I have to do that EugeneEdge / Shutterstock

When parents do not discipline their child, when the child becomes an adult, they may end up lacking accountability and have difficulty dealing with consequences. This attitude could lead them to say that they should not have to do certain things when they do not get their way.

The Arise Society, a team that works to support young adults as they work through emotional setbacks, mentions that, “Without consistency in enforcing rules and the subsequent consequences, young adults may struggle to understand the link between their actions and their results, leading to confusion and an overall lack of direction. Furthermore, consistent rules and consequences help foster responsibility and accountability, vital attributes for successful adulthood.”

3. 'You can't talk to me that way'

adults who never got punished growing up almost always say these phrases when they don't get their way you can't talk to me that way PeopleImages / Shutterstock

When an adult was never punished as a child, they lack an understanding of consequences and take not getting their way as a personal attack. This likely leads them to respond to not getting their way by saying that they can’t be talked to in a certain way or told “no.”

The National Parents Organization explains that, “Unfortunately, the child not subjected to penalties for bad behaviors doesn’t come to appreciate the consequences of their actions.”

Instead of developing an understanding that they are not always right and accepting that, they will believe that they have every right to always get their way as they get older.

4. 'Everyone else gets to do it'

adults who never got punished growing up almost always say these phrases when they don't get their way everyone else gets to do it Perfect Wave / Shutterstock

When an adult who was never disciplined as a child does not get their way, they may not understand why and say that everyone else gets to do what it is they want to be doing. A statement like this is made when a person has a sense of entitlement and is emotionally immature.

“Entitled people have a tendency to adopt self-image goals, often leading them into conflict with others. While they may be able to put up an exterior of being nice and well-mannered on the outside, research shows that it's all just for show; deep down inside, this is not how they truly feel about themselves or other individuals around them,” according to Arlin Cuncic, an author with a master’s degree in clinical psychology.

They may struggle to be emotionally mature enough to understand that something that others can do is because they have earned the opportunity to do it.

5. 'It's your fault this is happening'

adults who never got punished growing up almost always say these phrases when they don't get their way it's your fault this is happening PeopleImages / Shutterstock

An adult who was not disciplined as a child may have never developed a sense of responsibility. This will cause them to blame others and tell someone that things are their fault when something does not go their way.

If an adult does not understand how to handle the emotions that come from being wrong, they will resort to blaming others as a defense mechanism, which can make it difficult for an adult to actually thrive within their relationships.

Katy Kandaris-Weiner, a licensed professional counselor, mentions that, “Blaming others is, essentially, “blame avoidance.” Like all defense mechanisms used to evade uncomfortable feelings, blame is considered a form of emotional avoidance. Blaming others for how we express inappropriate actions enhances our sense of being justified for those actions.”

6. 'Fine, I just won't do anything then'

adults who never got punished growing up almost always say these phrases when they don't get their way fine I just won't do anything then PeopleImages / Shutterstock

Passive-aggressive behavior can be a behavior that is developed due to a lack of discipline. If an adult was not punished while they were growing up, they may say overly dramatic things like, “Fine, I just won’t do anything then,” when they do not get their way.

Not disciplining a child when they do something wrong is a form of emotional neglect. Emotional neglect as a child can lead to an adult responding to stressful situations and overwhelming emotions in a passive-aggressive manner because they struggle to understand how to manage and regulate their emotions, according to the findings of a 2024 study.

7. 'The rules don't apply to me'

adults who never got punished growing up almost always say these phrases when they don't get their way the rules don't apply to me Dragana Gordic / Shutterstock

If an adult tends to say that the rules do not apply to them, this could be due to a lack of discipline when they were children. Developing a sense of entitlement will cause them to believe that they can do whatever they please without having to deal with any consequences.

Adults whose parents never enforced discipline while they were growing up will have trouble with self-control and not doing the things that are not allowed. “If your parents didn’t enforce enough rules and limits and structure when you were growing up, then you’ll be far more likely to struggle with this as an adult. Making yourself exercise, eat well, go to bed, get up, and other aspects of self-control can be difficult when you didn’t learn it well enough as a child,” explains Dr. Jonice Webb, a therapist who specializes in childhood emotional neglect.

8. 'You're overreacting'

adults who never got punished growing up almost always say these phrases when they don't get their way you're overreacting Drazen Zigic / Shutterstock

An adult who never got disciplined as a child will likely try to discredit someone else’s feelings by telling them that they are overreacting. Without proper discipline growing up, they now likely struggle with understanding how to regulate their emotions and process not always getting what they want.

This may cause them to act like the way others respond to certain situations is an overreaction because they have trouble dealing with their own emotions which directly correlates to how they deal with others and social interactions. Discipline is crucial when it comes to a person knowing how to respect the boundaries and feelings of other people, so a lack of discipline makes this very difficult.

9. 'This is going to ruin everything'

adults who never got punished growing up almost always say these phrases when they don't get their way this is going to ruin everything fizkes / Shutterstock

Many times, if punished as a child, a person will grow up struggling with understanding how to deal with the emotions that result from being disappointed or frustrated. Due to this, an adult will likely say things like, “This is going to ruin everything” if they do not get their way.

This may be the only way they know how to cope with their feelings in these moments. Discipline teaches an individual how to regulate their emotions, so without this being a part of their childhood, an adult will want to blame others for their setbacks and overreact to things that do not go the way they want them to.

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10. 'Who are you to tell me what to do'

adults who never got punished growing up almost always say these phrases when they don't get their way who are you to tell me what to do PeopleImages / Shutterstock

Without discipline as a child, an adult will possibly be self-entitled and have trouble with respecting boundaries and navigating conflict. This may cause them to say things like, “Who are you to tell me what to do?” when someone has any kind of conflict with them.

They were never given the opportunity to develop what they needed to hold themselves accountable and cope with their emotions during conflict in a healthy way. This makes taking advice or experiencing conflict with someone who may be trying to guide them in a certain direction very difficult for them.

11. 'I don't care how you feel'

adults who never got punished growing up almost always say these phrases when they don't get their way I don't care how you feel PeopleImages / Shutterstock

An adult who never got punished growing up will likely say that they do not care about how something makes another person feel when they do not get their way. Their sense of entitlement will cause them to struggle in the relationships that they try to develop as they get older.

Being raised without discipline makes it difficult for children to “learn how to handle frustration. Everything feels overwhelming. They struggle in friendships because they’ve never learned respect for rules or limits,” explains Ivy Boyter, author of “How to Conquer Your Family's Schedule: A Stay at Home Mom's Guide to (Almost) Getting it All Done.” This usually follows them into their adulthood.

Kamryn Idol is a writer with a bachelor's degree in media and journalism who covers lifestyle, relationship, family, and wellness topics.