9 Signs You're Stuck In A Soul-Sucking, Toxic Relationship

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9 Warning Signs Of A Toxic Relationship
Heartbreak

When we reviewed the results from an informal of survey of more than 100 YourTango Experts, we discovered that 89%t of them believe that half or more of all couples are in toxic, unhealthy relationships.

We wanted to know more, so we decided to ask for some more specific examples of what toxic relationships look like, and how people can know when they're in one.

What are the signs of a toxic relationship?

The red flag waving at the top of their list of responses was, "You spend more time fighting than enjoying each other."

​But that's not the only sign you should watch out for.

Here are nine more common warning signs of a toxic relationship, explained by YourTango Experts.

According to Dr. Marian Stansbury, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Milford, Connecticut:

1. Your partner seems hostile all the time.

Is your partner angry a lot of the time? If you feel you're living with a lot of tension, feeling stressed and not able to express yourself the way you want, your relationship isn't healthy for you.

We all need to feel safe and secure to express our authentic selves.

RELATED: 6 Ways To Deal With People Who Have Serious Anger Issues (Without Losing Your Cool)

2. Your partner constantly puts you down.

Does your significant other criticize or demean you? Are you on edge most of the time because you feel that you can't please your partner or do anything right? Do they make fun of you or criticize you in public or in front of family and friends? Do they act superior towards you or mock you?

These are all warning signs of an unhealthy, dysfunctional relationship.

3. Your partner purposely avoids you.

Does it seem like they don't want to be around you?

Maybe they give you mixed messages that make you feel confused, like saying, "Of course I love you," while not behaving in a loving manner. Or your partner might withhold physical affection from you, causing you to feel rejected, to which they respond by complaining that you are just too needy.

4. Your partner refuses to consider changing and won't talk about problems in the relationship.

Is your partner open to being influenced by you? Are they able to be self-reflective? When you express how you feel and ask for what you want, do they listen and then make an effort to meet your needs?

If they refuse to acknowledge your feelings and needs as important and refuse to go to counseling, you may be stuck in a toxic relationship. And if that's the case, you need to ask yourself, "What do I need to do for myself to be happy and satisfied with my life?"

RELATED: 6 Toxic Relationship Behaviors Most Couples Think Are Normal

According to Keri Nola, a psychotherapist based in Winter Springs, FL:

5. Your partner fights dirty.

Name-calling is a definite sign of toxicity in a relationship. Attempting to hurt someone with words isn't the way to resolve conflict or communicate hurt feelings.

Problems usually escalate quickly when name-calling is present, and it makes it especially difficult to create intimacy and connection in the relationship.

6. You don't feel as though can be yourself.

Do you change your likes, dislikes or opinions when you're with your partner? Feeling like you can't be yourself and adjusting to please out of a fear of retaliation can be a sign of a toxic relationship.

It's important to be able to express yourself honestly in your relationship in order for authentic love to grow.

RELATED: Why Your Relationship Will Never Work If You Aren't Being Honest With Yourself

According to relationship expert Mika Maddela:

7. Your partner acts like an overly-involved parent.

I'm not talking about the kind of parent who drives you to your violin recital; I'm talking about the kind who decides what your career will be, what school you will go to, and who you can hang out with.

When your partner acts like an overly-involved parent, they choose which friends you can have and what kind of clothes you can wear. You've learned from past experiences that your thoughts and opinions don't matter, and if you do try to express them, you will regret it later on.

8. Your partner is the king or queen of guilt trips.

They have a certain knack for making you feel guilty and indebted to them. You feel obligated to give in to whatever they want, especially when they reminds you of that thoughtful gesture they made for you the other day.

When every kind gesture comes with strings attached, it might be time to cut the cord.

9. You feel a need to hide the relationship from your friends and family.

Your family and friends don't like the way your partner treats you, and you're afraid that what they have to say may be the truth.

Rather than face that painful reality check, you tend to avoid talking about them, bringing them around, or involving them in any way with your friends and family.

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RELATED: Why It's So Hard To Leave A Toxic Relationship

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