Accepting your past will help you move on from the pain.
By YourTango Experts and Carol Look and Jerri Carr — Written on Mar 18, 2014
Having a troubled childhood can sometimes lead to a troubled adulthood. The wounds from the past can be like seeds that grow and blossom. Unfortunately, they blossom into negative thoughts and a state of mind where you think you don't deserve to live a happy life. But the truth is that you do deserve to live a happy life and there is a way to get there. It will require moving on from the past and reciting affirmations is one of the paths that will take you to a bright future. We sat down with therapists Jerri Carr and Carol Look to learn the different affirmations you can use to overcome the challenges of your distressed youth.
Look begins by explaining that, while "having a troubled childhood is incredibly challenging", there is the option to learn about the experience to move forward. "What we know is that we can't change the past, but we can acknowledge and validate our feelings, while choosing a more positive current perspective. We know that denial doesn't work, and anesthetizing our feelings with food, alcohol, work or relationships doesn't work either. What does work is acknowledgement, validation, and choosing solutions for our current life so we become stronger and happier now."
Carr echoes the sentiment and adds that knowing you will be okay is a vital step you must take to actual feel okay. "Letting go of the wound requires affirming that, moving forward you will be okay. As children, we are resilient and easily distracted by new things. We are also experiencing natural growth and development that gets us through mild or moderate trauma in sometimes weeks, or even days. As adults, emotional wounds take much longer to heal as we may become inactive during any phase of recovery. However, the above remains true that, we need to affirm that moving forward we will be okay."
Which brings us back to affirmations. You must talk to yourself often, consistently and without fanfare. Look explains: "Affirmations work when they feel manageable to our minds without too much exaggeration. They also need to create a bridge to new emotional possibilities."
Carr and Look supply you with affirmations that will help you look forward instead of looking back into the past. Remember — they are meant to help you so feel free to tweak the words to suit your situation.
- I am so much more than my wound.
- I will dwell in positive emotions and not in negative emotions of my wound.
- I will define my present and my future, my wound will not.
- I will be consumed by the positive things in my life, not my wound.
- I embrace my wound; I do not resent it.
- I acknowledge what happened, and I feel eager to move forward.
- I choose to be happy now.
- I love feeling relieved now that I know it wasn't my fault.
- I choose gratitude in my life and am grateful for what I have.
- I appreciate the wonderful opportunities I have in my life.
- I am doing the best I can right now.
- I choose joy on a daily basis.
- I love appreciating the best qualities about me.
- I love being generous and helping others.
- I am valuable and I love what I offer others.
- I appreciate who I am and who I've become.
The best way to make your affirmations work for you is to repeat them daily. Says Look: "Repeat the affirmations that resonate with you, and change the wording if you feel inspired to add new language. While they won't change the past, they will improve your mood, outlook and vibration so you can live a life of optimism and joy today." We couldn't agree more.
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