The 36 Questions To Ask To Fall In Love

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man and woman making heart with their hands

Because "the development of a close relationship is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure,” researchers tested a theory that asking a specific series of 36 questions could induce romantic feelings.

These 36 questions were created by Mandy Len Catron, who appeared in the "New York Times" Modern Love section, her work titled, "To Fall In Love With Anyone, Do This."

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Does 36 questions to fall in love work?

Playing this question game is partially successful. It turns out that many people have used these 36 questions to help them fall in love and increase closeness in their current relationship.

The best part is that they also had fun doing it. And you might like trying it, too.

In the case of Catron, she found that asking these 36 questions worked for her in her quest for love. She fell in love with someone she barely knew beforehand. It may take an hour or more to get through all the questions.

What are good relationship questions?

Good relationship questions give you insight into a person, whether by asking specific questions about their personality, what they would do in a certain situation, or anything about who they are and what they like doing.

But you can also learn about a person through a more abstract set of questions. This gives you a deeper view of someone's personality based on their responses. 

How do you play 21 questions with a guy? 

If you aren't quite sure what questions to ask to make someone fall in love with you, there are certain topics and themes to stick to. 

When you're first talking to someone and getting to know them, start by proposing to play a popular game called 21 Questions that enable you to ask them personal, flirty, and even sobering questions. The more they open up to you about their life, the more comfortable you become with each other.

As for 21 questions, it's very simple to play. You just both take turns asking each other questions. And, in the process, you will end up learning quite a lot about each other. That's because you can turn the questions into a conversation.

RELATED: Couples In The Healthiest Relationships All Show Their Partners Love In One Specific Way

36 Questions That Lead To Love

How to play: Partners alternate asking the questions to one another. The person who asks the question answers first. At the end, look into each others' eyes for two to four minutes. As Catron says, “Two minutes is just enough to be terrified. Four really goes somewhere.”

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

RELATED: The 5 Stages Of A Relationship All Couples Go Through, According To Science

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

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23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, "We are both in this room feeling..."

26. Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share..."

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

Of course, as Mandy Len Catron explains, falling in love is the easy part. And she couldn't be more right!

RELATED: 110 Relationship Quotes To Share With Your One True Love

The Anatomy of Love is a website run by neuroscientist Lucy L. Brown, PhD and biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, PhD. It's a learning website dedicated to the science of attraction and how it can help your relationship. 

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This article was originally published at The Anatomy Of Love. Reprinted with permission from the author.