What Men Need To Know Before They Even Consider Falling In Love With A Strong, Independent Woman

While you may be attracted to an independent woman's success or confidence, some men find dating powerful women to be a challenge.

Strong, independent women are ambitious and bold, and they know exactly what they want in life and in love.

They don't need a man for protection, financial security, or status. They are quite capable of living alone, although they might prefer sharing their lives with a man who's willing to her accept her and her own personal strengths and weaknesses.

They want a romantic partner they can feel close to, and with whom they can share their life.

If you're dating or falling in love with a woman like this, know that strong women tend to be faithful to their mates, have a good sense of self, and have several friends and activities that they enjoy, which occupy their time. They likely are working toward their next career success or are happy with their job as it is.

Successful women may or may not want children, but will be clear about their decision either way. They know themselves well — like what works for them and what doesn't. They know what makes them happy and go after it. They also manage their finances successfully on their own.

Would you be happy dating such a woman with these strong character traits?

Here are 8 pieces of dating advice for men on how to get a girlfriend by taking into account her greatest personal strengths and weakness.

1. Her need for emotional closeness.

A healthy independent woman will want an emotionally intimate relationship. You will need to do your part in that. This means that you both take responsibility for emotional intimacy in the relationship.

For example, you both reach for the other person to connect and feel close to one another.

2. Her desire for social independence.

A healthy and independent woman with good character traits will have a variety of friends, activities and possible work events.

You would need to have some of your own interests and activities to avoid relying on her busy life.

3. Your ability to trust in her fidelity.

An independent woman will spend a good portion of her time away from you. If you have been cheated on in the past or have been unfaithful yourself, then you may question whether she may be cheating. Not everyone cheats.

You need to feel comfortable with your partner and ask her about her history and if she has cheated in the past. If you are the one who has cheated, you are more likely to believe she is cheating, even if this is not the case. An independent woman may not be the right match for you.

This type of woman needs an independent and emotionally secure man to share her life. An independent woman is not going to want to deal with jealousy in a relationship. This will likely be a deal-breaker for her.

4. Her ambitious career goals.

This is a big issue to consider and absolutely shapes the relationship lifestyle. Independent women often highly value their career and may see it as equal to having a family. They may want to continue to advance their career after each child’s birth if children are in the picture. This is an important factor to know about yourself ahead of time regarding whether this fits you.

What does your picture look like? Are you going to be comfortable if she chooses to move forward in her career or even surpasses your career? What if her advancement involves a move out of state or even out of the country?

There is a big difference between having a family where the wife stays at home with the kids versus a career woman who may want it all: a career and a family. What if this means you will need to step up more often to help? Is this OK with you? Will this affect your career?

Her career may mean more to her than money. Some careers involve prestige, which may result in others respecting her career or position more than yours. Are you going to feel secure enough to handle this? Again, this is not about a challenge. It is about what will make you happy.

5. Your comfort with her financial independence.

Again, this goes back to your sense of self and how secure you feel. Men like to feel needed and finances are often where men can exceed the woman’s financial status. An independent woman will not "need" your money to be comfortable in life.

Also, she would likely be making her own decisions about her finances. Are you going to be OK with this? And what if she makes more money than you? Are you comfortable with this?

6. Your level of self-esteem.

She will want a man who has a very secure self-esteem. She will emotionally support you, but will not want to be responsible for you feeling good about yourself. You are responsible for your own feelings of self-worth.

7. Her feelings about having children.

Having children affects your lifestyle together, and how this might affect her career, as well as yours. You both need to be in agreement about this decision because you each will be living this particular life choice. A highly independent woman may choose not to have kids, either because of her desire to focus on her career or that she does not want that lifestyle that includes having kids.

8. Her relationship with family and relatives.

Some independent women enjoy making time for family, but others do not feel the need. What if your independent woman is not close to her own family and focuses on her career and her mate by choice? She may not feel drawn to family in general and does not seek out either family.

This may come from making a healthy choice rather than an avoidance of a negative family dynamic. What will this be like if you enjoy getting together with your family?

This is not a complete list of the types of personalities independent girls and women have. You may find other factors about their positive qualities to consider before choosing a healthy and independent woman to share your life.

You need to honestly evaluate these situations and questions before you commit to an independent woman, no matter how enticing her personal attributes may be.

Susan Saint-Welch, LMFT, is a marriage and family psychotherapist who has been practicing in-person and online in the South Bay of the Los Angeles area for over 20 years, helping families and couples learn healthy communications skills, and guiding single men and women to get un-stuck and find the lasting love they deserve. For more, visit her website.

This article was originally published at Life and Relationships 101. Reprinted with permission from the author.