Dating Advice: Looking for Love In All The Wrong Places

Love, Sex

How to stop repeating bad dating patterns & the 10 best places to look for a potential partner.


I am still amazed how many men and women complain about the difficulties they have enjoying a successful dating life. The sexes must learn how to open up and talk to each other without initial harsh judgment or sabotage due to their own subconscious insecurities. Men & women need to make an effort to understand their gender differences and embrace them instead of repelling away from them!

The one common denominator both men and women have is their lack of creativity on where to rendezvous when they are looking for a future partner. The most obvious choice for many is the bars & nightclub scene. This is “one night stand” territory no matter how you look at it. There will always be the exception of a few people who end up in a committed relationship with someone they meet in a club, but for the most part it is a short lived scenario. Most people wake up the next day & seldom call the number they have in their coat pocket from the night before. (This is mainly due to too much alcohol & lack of confidence to make the phone call.)

Meeting in a lounge or a restaurant is a better environment but you have to be more creative as there is no dancing to seduce or lure someone in. You actually have to converse with them. Alcohol is a great relaxer for many women & it works wonders for men looking for a sexual encounter. This is why the bar scene is a repetitive pattern for so many frustrated people. It is available on every corner and everyone hopes that there will be an exception to this rule every time they repeat the pattern. Unfortunately it is usually the same old story every weekend. Everyone wakes up perturbed & lonely.

Some of the situations to be aware of for when meeting a potential partner:

  • If you are using Online dating services check out if someone that you may be  interested in, is also listed in the "intimate" section. Some people are only really interested in a sexual relationship. Really read their profiles & pay attention to any red flags. (Many people choose to ignore them, even the obvious ones because they are desperate to meet someone.)
  • Pay attention to the groupie types who only date or sleep with a certain high profile distinction. Many prominent athletes, musicians or wealthy business people frequent the same watering holes. This is a gold mine for men & women on the prowl for money or status.
  • Be aware of women who are addicted to a celebrity type lifestyle and cannot date anyone who is not in this league.
  • Being the constant mistress! Now there’s a novel idea…being #2 forever. Married men will not continually come to you unless you are sending out those vulnerable signals.
  • People who only date the perfect & beautiful types. Their physical standards are so high that everything else is overlooked in the relationship. Both sexes fall into this category.

External riches do not necessarily bring internal riches.

Finding true love should not be costly or painful. Getting yourself stuck in a routine will close doors on other available options that could ultimately work for you. If you classify yourself as a certain “type” you will not allow yourself to grow to your full potential ~you become stuck! 

Fear can be a powerful suppressor, so be cognizant of any forming patterns that keep you from having love in your life because you are afraid of the unknown. Take baby steps to challenge your demons.

If you don’t have the strength to get out of reoccurring heart breaking situations, then start observing some of your friends who may be stronger than you and follow their lead. (Don’t be afraid to ask for help or to hire someone professionally for a short time.) Change up your dating patterns & the venues so that you have a better chance of meeting someone of substance. Everyone deserves love in their life.

Some of the 10 best places to meet at least start up a good conversation:

  1. Golf driving range or (Executive par 3 course, as less serious golfers will go there.)
  2. Tennis court (Use the back wall where other solo players will practice)
  3. The gym (Be friendly & acknowledge people near you ~ Say hi & take off your headphones!)
  4. Airport (Talk to people in the holding room or restaurants.)
  5. Hiking trails or a Beach/Park with high people traffic
  6. Sporting venue (hockey game, soccer match, golf spectator etc)
  7. Any social event where people can mingle. (Do not put yourself in a booth; always stay open to the room.)
  8. Meet up groups (Check your local area for the numerous groups available or start one!)
  9. Take a course where there will be people there who have similar interests as you.
  10. Speed dating & Online Dating sites (Do your homework & find the best ones that work for you.)

Susan McCord @ http://www.yinyangtalk.com