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They're more sensitive than you think.
By Keith Dent — Written on Feb 13, 2018
If you are in a marriage or a long-term relationship right now, you might be a little anxious about what your man is planning for a special evening like an anniversary, a weekend away, or Valentine's Day.
If he’s a planner, he probably already has a wonderful dinner planned as well as a thoughtful gift, just for you. If he’s not, he will be online at the flower stand in the train station, or he’ll contact 1-800 flowers just in time like he does every year.
If you are wondering what your man is anxious about these big events, you don’t have to put that much thought into it.
Rest assured, after you have had your wonderful meal and thoroughly gushed over your gift, he is looking forward to later in the evening. He is looking forward to having sex, but he may be nervous about it.
Men aren’t just looking for a hook-up, just to say he at least had sex on Valentine’s Day or anniversaries. Men all across the country are expecting the night between the two of you to be special.
When I asked several guy friends what they were concerned about but might not tell you, they offered these 5 things on what men think about:
1. He wants you to practice the art of seduction.
If you are open and very conscious — meaning your understand your worth — you can easily seduce him just by how you look at him or how you lean in and softly touch his arm or leg.
What man isn't going to respond to that?
2. He wants you to take charge and be creative sometimes.
Men love it when you can tease and be playful. It intensifies the moment. And when he finally gets to the point when he finishes, it makes sex that more enjoyable and him wanting more.
3. He wants you to be open and honest.
There is nothing worse to realize your woman is going through the motions in the bedroom. Even though it might initially sting that he isn't pleasing you. He wants to.
So tell him. Be open and honest about what you desire from him sexually so he can meet your expectations. Challenge him and acknowledge him. If he’s doing it right, let him know, he’ll love to hear it.
4. He wants you to know that he’ll never beg.
Some men just have a problem feeling vulnerable especially to their spouse. They would rather find other means to fulfill their pleasure, either by themselves or online. In reality, that isn’t going to make the relationship any better, so no matter how unromantic scheduling sex may be, try it out.
When Brittany Gibbons and her husband took on this project for a year, it not only changed how they viewed their marriage but also themselves.
5. He wants you to know he has anxiety about his performance.
We fondly remember the days when we were "knocking the boots" or "blowing your back out". These days not so much. Like you, if we don’t prepare we may end up falling asleep on the couch. If we do finally get to the bedroom, we hope that it lasts long enough to turn the lights out.
If we as men are able to address these concerns that affect your sex lives and overcome them, not only will it be a catalyst that will enhance intimacy in the bedroom, but it enhances your marriage overall.
Keith Dent is a blogger, relationship coach, and creator of Strive 2 Succeed in marriage. For more advice check out Strive 2 Succeed In Marriage. You can also follow him on Instagram.