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The warning signs are all there.
By Esther Bilbao — Written on Sep 20, 2021
Relationships fail for many reasons, but one of the most common causes is when you discover a partner has cheated on you or you suspect he's cheating on you. A cheating spouse is a tough situation, and if you're wondering whether or not you've got a cheating husband, it can put a lot of unnecessary tension into your daily life.
There are a lot of signs that something isn't right before you ask yourself, "Is he cheating on me?" and it's important to know what to look out for if you suspect you're dealing with a cheater.
Why do men cheat? Well, he might feel he's emotionally disconnected from you, or that he's bored because the "honeymoon stage" is over.
How would you know if he's cheating on you?
The fact that you're asking this question means that you suspect your partner is being unfaithful.
The most important sign that you should not ignore is your intuition. If your guts tells you that he is cheating on you, then you are probably correct.
Now that you have a hunch that something is not right, you need to look for supporting evidence or signs that will back you up before you jump to the conclusion that he's indeed cheating.
Here are 12 huge red flags that your partner may be cheating on you that you need to look out for:
1. The intimacy disappears or dies completely
One sign that your partner may be cheating on you is when he started being distant with you lately and has no time to make any connection. He may also lose interest in making love to you even though he is physically and mentally healthy.
2. He suddenly becomes self-conscious of his body
There is nothing wrong with improving your appearance and health. But when your partner suddenly goes to the gym and works out for hours, he might not be doing this for you, especially when he starts to become too obsessive showing off his biceps and abs.
3. He starts changing his wardrobe
When your partner is dressing nicer, putting a lot of effort into grooming, and has a sudden interest in his appearance, it might be a new girl is influencing him to make these changes and he is trying to impress this new girl.
4. He brings his phone everywhere with him
We all need our phones and we practically bring our phones with us anywhere we go. But when your partner insists to bring his phone with him even if he will just take a shower or to the shortest trip inside your house like going to the kitchen to get some snacks, then something is off. It means that it is possible that your partner does not want you to see something in his phone.
5. He accuses you of being unfaithful
This usually happens when he becomes aware that you are already suspicious of him cheating. He will reverse the situation and make you appear to be the cheater. This is called “blame-shifting.” This is when a person blames you for whatever the other person has done wrong to avoid taking the responsibilities or the blame.
The probable reason why he is accusing you of cheating is that he might be guilty of his wrongdoing, therefore, he accuses you so that the guilt that he is feeling would be transformed into anger by blaming you. This makes him feel less guilty or not guilty of his actions.
6. He gets mad when you ask him where he was
He becomes too defensive when you ask him about his whereabouts, although you are not confronting or accusing him. Even a harmless question like “how was your trip?” will spark a major argument—if you are dealing with a cheater.
7. He develops new passions and interests
You know your partner well and you know that he is not fond of arts, but all of a sudden, he wanted to go to art museums and purchased art supplies. These interests don’t just spring from nowhere. This could be a sign that he is cheating and he shares this interest with his new girl.
8. His temper decreases or he gets angry more frequently
Does he pick fights even over small things? He might just want to start an argument with you to find an excuse to get away from you to another girl. He might also feel guilty for cheating but he is not brave enough to admit it and that is why he uses his anger to be his protection to keep him safe.
9. He starts showering you with gifts
We love receiving gifts and surprises especially if those are from our partner. But when he suddenly showers you with gifts and becomes attentive out of the blue, this could also be a sign that he is having an affair. His guilty conscience makes him do these things to compensate for his cheating on you and to also divert your suspicions through his gifts.
10. He talks to you about other women
Does your partner always talk about his new female friend or co-worker? Does he seem so fond of her because he can’t stop talking about her? Or do you always hear her name in his stories? This could be a sign that he is attracted to this girl and might also be cheating on you with her. This is because he is always thinking about this girl to the extent that he can’t stop talking about her.
11. There's a noticeable change in his spending habits
You noticed high credit card bills and purchases that are not yours. Unexplained expenses may be a sign of cheating. He might be showering his other girl with gifts and dates at restaurants.
12. You catch him lying constantly
Your partner has become more secretive and lies about different things. Repeated lying is a sign that your partner might be cheating. Infidelity involves a whole lot of lies and deception.
Every relationship and every person is different. Even if your partner is exhibiting some of these signs, it does not mean that he is already being unfaithful to you. He might be going through something or maybe you are having false suspicions. If you feel something is not right, you should discuss it with your partner.
If you have confirmed that your facts are straight and he indeed cheated on you, you need to choose whether you will try to fix your relationship or just walk away. Whatever your choice might be, make sure that it is a valid one and that you would stick to that decision.
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Esther Bilbao helps mentor women to have better relationships, health, and personal development. Visit her website for more information.