Photo: WeHeartIt
There’s no shame in exploring it together.
By Sinclair Institute — Written on May 15, 2017
By Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D.
With porn use a form of pleasuring, for some, what could be better than a pleasure doubled?
Still, despite its benefits to a sexual relationship, some couples struggle with what kind of role porn should have in their pleasuring, if any. Often, the value of using pornography for pleasure is lost in the great “is it right or wrong” porn debate.
Yet, there are plenty of perks for those who are willing to “go there” with porn occasionally or regularly eroticizing sex for secure, adventuresome couples.
1. It can put you in the mood.
The right kind of erotica can be an aphrodisiac for those needing a little something extra to boost desire. In focusing one’s attention on sex, body parts, and arousing activities, porn can have couples absorbed in a shared sexual experience in no time.
Even those who are initially uncomfortable with porn use will have trouble denying the instinctual reactions one has in seeing such, with one’s senses immediately activating the sexual response cycle and wanting more.
2. It can boost sexual arousal.
The goal of porn is to arouse. Seeing others engaged in sexual pursuits can enhance your own sexual arousal, increasing blood flow to your genitals and having you more easily aroused. Testosterone production is stimulated as well, with males producing 10-15 times more of this hormone than females. In fulfilling almost every desire, porn can offer a new and exciting component to sex.
3. It can provide stress relief.
For those under time pressure or simply wanting a quickie, the sexual stimulation porn provides can lead to immediate gratification. With that, the body can relax and unwind.
4. It can be educational and empowering.
While certainly no substitute for a quality sexuality education class, lovers can learn ‘tricks of the trade’ from porn, relating to the sexual activity.
Whether viewing a new sexual position, technique, or role play scenario, couples can feel more confident in gaining a little bit of know-how and in feeling that they’re being given permission to engage in said sex act. The porn actors make it seem okay.
5. It can play on your voyeuristic tendencies.
Porn allows couples to safely and legally observe others having sex while still feeling a bit naughty. The illusion of power and control, namely in the materials being easily attainable and porn users feeling like they ultimately have an upper hand in what will be enjoyed, are other elements that lovers can get off on in becoming voyeurs of sorts.
6. It can be sexually reaffirming.
In depicting a wide array of people, situations, and sex acts, porn has practically something for everyone. And with that, pornography can help individuals, like those who are questioning their sexual orientation or bi-tendencies, to feel okay. Porn provides them with a safe, confidential outlet and opportunity to learn about all sorts of attraction and to feel perfectly normal in their attractions and experiences being okay.
7. It can positively impact your sexual attitudes and experiences.
Pornography can make for more enhanced sex for some people in some cases. Case in point: research published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior indicates that women get more out of porn that previously thought.
Not only did participants report enhanced sex, but heightened attitudes toward sex and life in general. New sexual knowledge, experimentation, and increased arousal and ability to fantasize were the main reasons why.
Not surprisingly, research has also found that women often bring what they’ve seen in porn back to a relationship as a way to feel sexier and encourage sexual exploration. Some are into the idea of trying new things once they’ve seen pornographic images. For some, a whole new sexual persona is born.
8. It can help lovers get to a better place.
It isn’t unusual for a sex therapist or counselor to advise a couple to incorporate porn use if the aim is to redefine their sex life. In such cases, porn becomes an important tool for jump-starting a struggling relationship. It may aid a couple longing to rekindle desire and become more imaginative in the bedroom. In being permission-giving, it can further act as a tool for inspiring sexual expression, if lovers are feeling challenged in this way.
9. It can provide illusions of a group sex experience.
While you may never want to go out and actually have a threesome or more-some, having sex while watching porn can create some of the feelings that can come from group sex. For some individuals, this can be exhilarating in feeling taboo or freeing.
Some may even just like that porn provides an outlet for checking out other people, without inviting the same troubles and jealousies such attractions can cause in other situations.
10. It can be a celebration of the human body and sexual expression.
Some forms of pornography are a bit more erotic and sensual in their presentation, like films by Andrew Blake, capturing the beauty of the sexually active form. Others, like Candida Royalle’s flicks from Femme Productions, have story lines that focus more on the seduction and even romance of sexually engaging another.
The plot aspect of such soft porn efforts, involving more realistic characters and sex in more loving relationships, can have couples relating to erotica in a whole new way.
At the Sinclair Institute we help adults build relationships that work by fostering communication and creativity. We are committed to leadership in the sexual health industry.
This article was originally published at Sinclair Institute . Reprinted with permission from the author.