Couples/Marital Issues

Years in Practice

6-10 years


Richmond VA 23227 - United States



Additional Expertise

Relationship Coach, Speaker/Presenter, YourTango Expert Partner

I Practice in

All areas, please inquire

I Believe

Having a great relationship doesn't require hard work unless you're working on the wrong things. I use humor, common sense, and been-there-done-that wisdom to show all couples, regardless of their state or stage of their relationship, how to have greater emotional intimacy, how to turn everyday life into opportunities for emotional foreplay, and how to have more Wow! in their relationship. Here's what Chicke Fitzgerald (Founder, Executive Girlfriends' Group) said: “Shela spoke to the Executive Girlfriends’ Group about her book Frequent Foreplay Miles. It was the most practical and everyday useful advice about relationships that I have ever heard.” Practical and everyday useful. How cool is that?

About Shela Dean

If there's one thing I love to do, it's help couples have better, happier, more intimate relationships. I'm in a happy marriage. But I wasn't always. I've been in the wrong relationships for the wrong reasons. I learned many lessons the hard way and it's my fervent desire that others learn from my mistakes.

Coaching is my second career, one that followed naturally from my first career of 20+ years as an estate and family attorney. I know. To many people "Attorney as Relationship Coach" is an oxymoron. But the nature of an estate planning practice is such that I had long-term, very close working relationships with many of my clients. I worked with couples of all ages and at all stages of life. As part of my practice, I found myself faced with a myriad of issues having to do not just with legal matters but also with how couples relate to each other. Like doctors, attorneys are often the only ones outside a relationship to know when things are bad and getting ready to crack. I saw the impact of both big and small issues on relationships: everything from birth and death, addiction, infidelity, and illness, to who put the dent in the car or burned the toast that morning. I was called on to counsel my clients at critical and often stressful points in their lives: marriage, divorce, a loved one's death, loss of health or wealth, the blending of families.

Because I felt I needed to understand the dynamics of relationships (and wanted a great relationship myself), I studied everything I could get my hands on to become an expert. Before long, I was counseling my clients on personal matters as well as on legal matters. Sharing the wisdom gained in those 20 years along with my personal marriage experience is now my life's work. I help couples have more intimacy in all areas of their life--in and out of the bedroom.

I approach coaching with humor and common sense practicality. How I work with couples is summed up by Libby Gill in the foreword to my first book like this: "Shela has an uncanny ability to make complex concepts easy to understand and even easier to apply to everyday life. Her practical meat-and-potatoes approach, combined with humor and insight, and capped off with a 'cut to the chase' energy, makes it fun to embark on her . . . relationship improvement course."

I hope that I can connect with you too.

Shela Dean Success Stories

Great New Book Endorsement


Woo hoo! My book Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy was just given a great endorsement by Larry James, author of How to Really Love the One You're With. To buy my book visit my website at http://www.FrequentForeplayMiles.com. Thanks!

Marriage Saved

Married couples

I recently got an email from a woman thanking me. Here's what she said;more

I wanted to say thank you! You absolutely saved my marriage which, after 25 years, was on the brink of divorce. About 2 months after I read your book and followed your advice, my husband noticed the change in me. We were no longer fighting and I had stopped sniping at him. I shared your book with him. He read it in one sitting and couldn't put it down. That's when the real process of fixing our marriage began. We are talking more than we have in 10 years, are in love again, and the fireworks have been re-ignited! Thank you, Shela, for making the emotional love in our life stronger and for making the physical love happen again.

Shela Dean
Relationship Coach, Speaker & Bestselling Author

Shela Dean Articles