How To Get A Boyfriend ASAP With 10 Simple Steps

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man and woman kissing

Why don't I have a boyfriend?

You wouldn't be the first person to ask this question. Learning how to get a boyfriend is a complex, frustrating, and sometimes very counterintuitive process for some women.

But your love life doesn't have to be that way! I'm going to share the most powerful tips, tactics, and techniques you can use to get a guy to like you and want to be in a relationship with you.

After all, great love at any age comes from knowing how to start great relationships off right.

RELATED: 3 Reasons You're Still Very Single — And Exactly What You Can Do To Change That

Here's my simple, 10-step guide on how to get a boyfriend:

1. Understand that most guys like the chase a little too much.

You need to realize that men are just like cats. Sound a little weird? Hear me out.

Ever see a cat chase after a toy that's just sitting there? I certainly haven't. However, when it's dangled in front of them but still remains slightly out of reach, they literally go crazy for it. They jump around, chase, sprint, and pretty much will do whatever it needs to do to catch this "just out of reach" toy.

Bizarrely, guys are exactly the same. If you're fun, exciting, playful, flirty, and just out of reach, then he's more likely to desire you and chase after you.

2. Keep yourself healthy, looking and feeling great (inside and out).

Going to the gym in and of itself doesn't make you healthy. Eating right isn't the only important factor for healthiness. Being thin is a goal of many women, but again, this may not necessarily make you healthier.

That said, combining these three things — going to the gym, maintaining a healthy weight, and eating right — is going to massively contribute to improved health.

High-quality men aren't looking exclusively for a skinny woman, gym bunny, or a nutritious eater, but studies show that both men and women are naturally attracted to someone who appears to be healthy.

3. Dress attractively, not fashionably.

Being fashionable is certainly fun, but if you're keen to get a boyfriend, you should think more about dressing attractively to accentuate your good points.

I can honestly tell you this as guy: men just don't care about fashion nearly as much as women do. As a result, we often don't even notice the latest trends. But we do notice when you look your best.

4. Refrain from being overly negative.

Are you a fun person, a depressing person, or a boring person? Most people don't want to hang around with someone who's boring or who's always making them feel bad, no matter how attractive that person is. They'd prefer to run a mile, honestly.

Men love women who are fun and positive. When I talk about being a fun and positive person, I don't mean some sort of impossible happy-all-the-time-no-matter-what person. I'm saying that you should do your best to see the good in the world and at least try to find the positive in situations when you can.

5. Have your own life (and love it!)

If you want to know how to get a boyfriend, you absolutely need to remember how important it is that you have your own life.

Again, this comes down to the fact that guys don't want what they can easily have.

Rather than always being available to hang out with a guy, make sure you have your own life, interests, and fun things to do. This will make you seem way, way more valuable in his eyes and make him feel good to be with you.

6. Learn how to be great in bed.

While figuring out how to get a guy to like you is important, learning how to keep him is crucial if you want things to progress to boyfriend/girlfriend level or beyond.

One of the best ways to keep him attracted to you is by being great in bed.

RELATED: 10 Dating Tips I Wish I'd Followed While I Was Single

7. Don't date out of desperation.

Finding the right guy for you takes time. If you just jump into a relationship with the first person who shows the slightest bit of interest, chances are you'll end up unhappy. 

It's important to know exactly what you're looking for, and don't settle until you find it.

8. Put yourself out there.

Though dating apps and online dating are useful for finding a boyfriend, they're only the first step. You're not going to meet a guy by sitting at home every night!

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Don't fall into the dating app trap of becoming pen pals and never meeting in person. You'll never know the true potential of a relationship if you're hiding behind a screen.

9. Learn how to flirt well.

If you're not openly flirting with people you're interested in, how will they ever actually know you're interested in them?

Guys are shy too, so don't wait around for someone to make the first move. Make eye contact, lean towards him, and make it known that you're into him.

10. Don't wait for the "spark."

If you're banking on that "love at first sight" feeling and ignoring any guy who doesn't make you feel that way, you're drastically lowering your chances of meeting a great guy. 

Long-term relationships don't always form out of a "spark", and there's no set age you should have a boyfriend by. In fact, some of the best relationships start as platonic friendships, giving you a chance to really get to know each other without any pressure or expectation.

What qualifies as a boyfriend?

In modern dating, it's easy to get caught up in being with someone who never wants to define the relationship and take on that boyfriend label. 

Situationships are all too common these days, as are frustrating dating issues like breadcrumbing and orbiting which leave you wondering where you stand with him.

A real boyfriend is one who is not afraid to claim you. He'll define the relationship when you're ready and make it known that he's yours.

RELATED: 7 Most Common Self-Sabotaging Behaviors In Online Dating

Sean Jameson is the creator of the Bad Girl's Bible, a resource for women looking to improve their love lives and have more fun with their partner. Sign up for his free newsletter for more expert tips advice.

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