Love

6 Falling In Love Techniques That Are So Effective It's Scary

Photo: Min An, knape, Xesai  | Canva 
woman working on herself, and her needs for a new relationship

Falling in love is exciting and fun! During those early stages of romantic relationships when you first fall in love you feel energized, excited, and hopeful. You feel the world is full of possibility. You want to capture this feeling and hold onto it for the rest of your life. But, somehow, you know you can’t.

Going deeper into yourself will help you settle into your new relationship and amplify the love being created between the two of you.

If you and your partner can speak deeply from your inner wisdom, you will see what you need to do to enhance your relationship.

RELATED: 10 Ways To Keep Fresh New Relationship Feelings Going On Forever

Here are 6 falling-in-love techniques that are so effective it's scary:

1. Quiet your mind.

A good place to start is to find ways to quiet your mind. You might want to try to meditate. There are groups, religious centers, apps, CDs, and books to help you quiet your mind.

Often walking, listening to music, gardening, making crafts and other activities can help you to quiet your mind. Keep trying new things until you find something that works for you.

Whatever you do, gradually increase the amount of time you take to center yourself each day. You can do it.

Quieting your mind will help you to be more present enabling you to pay attention to your own needs and your partner's needs.

2: Journal to make sense of your thoughts.

Brainstorm all the aspects of your relationship that are working well and not working well. Taking time to write your thoughts on paper can help you to make sense of your thoughts.

Drawing, painting, or any other creative endeavor, can help you express how you feel about your relationship. Creative expression can help you to go deeper into yourself learning from your body and emotions.

Write or draw whatever comes to you. There is no right or wrong!

Shining the light on all your thoughts and images can help you to discern what is true and false for you.

Revealing your inner dialogue will help you discover how your own attitudes are impacting your relationship. It will help you to name the attitudes that are helping you, new behaviors to learn, and what to let go of.

RELATED: How To Fall More Deeply In Love, According To Research

3: Reconnect with yourself.

If you are like many of us, you live a busy life. When you are busy, it's easy to lose touch with your inner core.

Meditation and journaling can help you to connect with yourself. When you have a deeper relationship with yourself it is easier to have deeper more fulfilling relationships with others.

When you can connect with yourself, you will become more aware of what is happening in your body, emotions, and mind. For example, how do your muscles feel, how open are your emotions, and how quiet is your mind? You might refer to it as your gut feeling or speak of it as your intuition.

You will know something is not right when your body is tense. You will be careful when you are feeling pain in the emotions. You will pay more attention when your intuition is warning you to change your path.

With an open body, emotions, and mind you will know what is important to you. You will know where you are in your relationship. You will know what to do.

4: Identify your needs.

You have needs! The question is are you getting your needs met in your relationship? But before you can express your needs to your partner, you need to figure out what they are. Even if you have done this before, your needs change throughout life.

Do you have enough time with your friends separate from each other? Do you get to pursue your interests? Do you feel appreciated? If not, how can your partner show you more appreciation?

What is missing in your life? How can your partner encourage you to follow your dreams?

Do you feel fulfilled in your relationship? Is there anything missing for you? Is your partner able to fulfill your wishes?

You then need to make time every week to share with each other so you can both be there for each other.

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5: Practice effective communication.

You are the one to make sure your partner knows what you need. Don’t expect them to read your mind. You need to tell them.

Communication is a two-way street so you will need to learn from them what their needs are.

You not only communicate with your mouth you communicate with your whole body. You communicate with your emotions. The people around us pick up our energy. There is no point in hiding what is really going on with you.

Be sure to make time for these important conversations. Give yourself a lot of room for sharing. If you listen carefully to yourself and your partner, you will find a path that will honor you both.

Using, “I” statements, you will be better able to communicate with each other. No one can deny what you experience.

As you speak and listen to each other, pay attention to your body, emotions, and mind. Listening within will help to reveal to you what are the issues. What do you need to change? What do you need from your partner? What do you need to take responsibility for?

6: Keep refreshing the attraction.

What attracted you to your partner in the first place? Remember in your body, emotions, and mind what you were experiencing.

When are you most aware of those feelings and sensations? What helps you to feel the joy you first experienced? Think of the times when you still feel these powerful emotions. How often do you feel them? What do you need to feel them more?

Ultimately, you must ask yourself this: What is blocking you from having the kind of relationship you like?

Are you too tired? Do you spend too much time at work? Are you depressed? Do you eat well? You need to take responsibility for your physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. You can change no one but yourself.​

Relationships require ongoing attention. You and your partner will grow and change so there will need to be adjustments to how you relate with each other. Your mind will have a habit of trying to convince you everything is okay, but your body and emotions won’t let you get away with lying.

No relationship is perfect. But your inner self will let you know if you are on the best path.

When you both are at your best, you will help to bring out the best in each other and make your love stronger than ever.

RELATED: 4 Flirting Techniques That Are So Effective It's Scary

Roland Legge is an author, certified spiritual life coach, and teacher of the Enneagram. He helps people connect to their inner selves and find alignment with their highest purpose and values