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At your worst, you avoid conflict at any cost.
By Roland Legge — Written on Jan 09, 2021
What does it mean to be an Enneagram Type 9 person?
In the first few months of life, you're given one of nine ways to survive in the world, according to the Enneagram.
Your personality type is critical for your survival, and your ego helps you see yourself as separate and distinct from the people around you, even your parents.
Your ego gives you a framework to make sense of the world and keep you safe. The trouble begins when you come of age and don't realize how much your fear of trying something new limits your freedom.
But at the end of the day, you're amazing, unique, and there's no one exactly like you!
What does it mean to be the Enneagram Type 9, a.ka. "The Peacemaker"?
Each Enneagram personality type is no better or worse than others. They are merely different. Your type shows you where you're already stuck.
Working with this fantastic tool helps you break free of your personality's limitations, allowing you to become stronger in all nine types.
At your best, you have the gift of being able to understand different points of view.
Being able to understand other points of view gives you the ability to be a great mediator.
You are a great observer, too. People might not think you're present sometimes, but you're actually observing everything around you.
You can express what you need and know you have worth. As a healthy Type 9, you show up in the best way you can every day.
You can set healthy boundaries with friends, family, and colleagues. You can balance your own needs with the needs of others.
You can recognize and deal with anger, and use it as a resource for change.
When you lose connection with your true self, your confidence is comprimised.
As a Type 9, you begin to believe that you have little or no worth.
You will avoid conflict at any cost. You avoid conflict because you are fearful of losing connection with others.
You will appease to the point of never asking for what you need or desire. You will agree with whatever other people want, until you can no longer hold back your anger.
You get angry because you are not getting your needs met.
You lose your unique identity merging with the people around you. You hope people will not notice you. You do everything to hide, so you reduce the chance of conflict.
You have a hard time taking a personal stand, because you understand all the different points of view. Also, you fear speaking out because you are afraid of making someone angry.
You not only hide from others — you hide from yourself. To hide from yourself, you pick up habits that help you avoid your feelings.
Maybe you get addicted to junk food or watch too much television.
Type 9 people will do anything to avoid disturbing emotions and sensations.
David (not his real name) is an older man who loves his life on his farm and enjoys his own company. He's happy to live on his own.
He hates conflict. When he feels anger coming on, he will quickly leave the room to avoid expressing his anger.
The trouble is that the longer he avoids his anger, the more likely it will come out explosively at a time you least expect.
David usually comes across as calm and easygoing. He is a great observer and rarely raises his voice. He likes everyone to get along with each other.
He doesn't like change. He has a hard time accepting new ideas. He, especially, is challenged by modern theology in the church that takes the minister off the pedestal.
For him, seeing women become more involved in the church took some getting used to. He struggled to accept that God could love all sexual orientations.
Over time, David was able to accept more and more change. Thanks to his children, he grew more open to believing in a more loving, inclusive God.
He has become more open to change.
The power of mediation for Type 9 people.
As an Enneagram type 9, you make a great mediator. You understand different points of view and can see what they have in common to help develop a win-win solution.
As a Type 9, you can mediate both informally and formally. You will mediate for your family, at your workplace, and you might even become trained as a professional mediator.
Here are 4 ways to get healthier as an Enneagram Type 9 personality.
1. Get in touch with your passion.
Discover what you're passionate about and claim your heart's desire.
2. Be vocal about what you want.
When you go out for a meal, let others know where you would like to go for supper.
3. Don't be shy about your success.
Celebrate your accomplishments with family, friends, and colleagues.
4. Express your anger in healthy ways.
Learn to express your anger in constructive ways that build up relationships, rather than destroy them.
Remember that as a Type 9 person, you're amazing. Understanding different points of view and mediation skills can help you to build peace in our world.
Imagine the positive changes you can make in the world with your skills to help people bridge differences.
You can help build peace and justice in the world by working in external affairs departments of governments, the United Nations, and non-governmental organizations.
Your ability to observe what is going on within you and around you can help you see the truth. You can be the one to acknowledge the elephant in the room that no one else wants to admit.
You're easygoing. You don't run away from conflict. You're dedicated to helping make the world a better place.
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Roland Legge is a life coach who offers coaching through REL Consultants for individuals, couples, families, and executives to help them to be the best they can be. For more information, please arrange for a free 30-minute discovery call by sending an email.
This article was originally published at REL Consultants . Reprinted with permission from the author.