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How to know if your anxiety is actually a fear you can overcome.
By Ellie Izzo, PhD
Last updated on Jan 23, 2024
Fear of the unknown is perhaps the biggest underpinning of anxiety. Whether it is due to your health, relationship, kids, or job, there are no guarantees in life other than being thrown a curve ball.
Fear of the unknown is the same as fear of the future. When we don't face our fear squarely, anxiety is the result.
Not only is anxiety a waste of your precious time and energy, but it also affects your brain chemistry so you can end up with an overproduction of cortisol. High levels of cortisol increase the possibility of cancer, heart disease, diabetes, and other immunological disorders. Not a recipe for happiness.
Six ways to conquer your fear of the unknown (which is the root of your anxiety).
1. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
Identify the worst-case outcome and face it. Research that outcome so you know what to expect.
2. Live your life in short bursts.
Hour to hour, minute to minute, tell yourself something like, "I am going to remain calm for the next 20 minutes." These small, consistent achievements will help you to feel more confident.
3. Practice grounding.
Breathe deeply. Look around and notice five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one emotion you feel.
4. Turn to practices that enrich your faith.
Whether you are a churchgoer, a nature lover, a meditator, a swimmer, a runner, a cook, or a cyclist. Involve yourself in activities that keep you focused in the present and keep your mind clear of stress.
5. Keep yourself emotionally and physically strong as possible.
Get help and support from professionals to stay in good shape.
6. Participate in some charitable act.
When we are helping others, we forget to fret.
Photo: Vadym_Hunko via Shutterstock
If you stop to think about it, one way or another, we are always living with uncertainty. Living here and now, noticing the joy in small things, and being grateful for our blessings is the best defense against our fear of the unknown.
Your significant other tells you that they are thinking about leaving the relationship. You are devastated because you do not want the relationship to end.
You can waste your physical and emotional energy by going after the person with frequent calls and texts, checking out their activity online, bothering your friends with your upset, losing sleep, not focusing on the job, and feeling depressed and anxious.
The alternative to living with uncertainty would be to remember you had a life before this person and will continue to have one. Take care of yourself with good nutrition and exercise. Notice your anxiety before you "act it out" destructively. Breathe deeply and engage in calming activities.
Seek out safe, supportive professionals who will help you get on track for yourself. Give what you are looking to get by helping others. Remember, you are part of a much bigger picture with lots of options.
Notice that the first, ineffective approach is centered on trying to control the other, and the second, healthy approach is centered on controlling and taking care of yourself.
In today's world, the concept of living with uncertainty is bolder than ever. People are frequently uncertain about their safety, both physically and emotionally. We need to be more guarded when attending public events. We must work harder to keep our kids safe at school and online.
We need to maintain independence in our marriages since one out of two does not work out. We need to stay mindful of our activity on the Internet. We have to hope we are not replaced or lose our jobs. We need to "watch our backs" when traveling abroad.
The list goes on and on. If we do not develop the coping skills for living day-to-day in a stressful world, we risk our good health and peace of mind.
If you stop to think about it, one way or another, we are always living with uncertainty. Living here and now, noticing the joy in small things, and being grateful for our blessings is the best defense against our fear of the unknown.
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Ellie Izzo is the creator of Sentbeat, an innovative APP for enhancing emotional intelligence. Information can also be found on LinkedIn.
This article was originally published at sentbeat.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.