Love, Self

Life Isn't Over When You're 50 And Gay!

I’m only 31 days into my 50s.  In fact, I’m only fourteen years into my out gay life.  However, I’m 50 years into my spiritual gay self and that’s given me the insight that I’m rocking it as a gay man...and not just between the sheets.

Being candidly honest, as I approached 50, I had a pre-50, present-50, and post-50 meltdown of sorts.  Okay, it was a full-blown, “OMG” moment.  I had never had a problem with any milestone birthdays.  Loved my 20s, found myself in my 30s, and rebirthed myself in my 40s.  All was good in the luminescent world of “Look at me, I’m gay and happy!”  Slam on the brakes!  How do you do this past 50?  Simple.  You just do!

Once I got past my funk, 21 days, seven hours, thirteen minutes and 45 seconds ago, I rallied and started realizing, “50’s got nothing on me baby!”  I’ve just started to bloom.  I grabbed my AARP application, filled it out, and can’t wait to get my free tote bag filled with loads of goodies to make my next 40 years a kick in the pants.  Of course, I opted for the rainbow version of the tote bag.

Now that the funk is past, and I’m back “rolling down the river,” I decided to share my list of “Why being 50 and gay rocks!”  Please don’t get jealous.  If you’re under 50, you’ll get here one day soon, baring any unforeseen circumstances.  And, if you’re 50+ and not rocking it, then start shaking a tail feather.  The worst thing that could happen is you lose a few on the dance floor!

50 and Gay Rocks because...

There’s a whole world of hot young guys that admire daddy types. Not that I’m going there.  I’m happily partnered, waiting for the wedding proposal, so I won’t screw it up with a trist with a young thing.  It’s just an ego-boost to be told, “You’re a hot daddy!”  Sigh!

Clothes no longer make the man. In the gay world, clothes are as important as boycotting Russian vodka!  However, it’s the man that makes the clothes work after 50!  I no longer feel like I have to dress to impress—not that I really ever did.  Instead, I look at clothes and ask, “How does my body enhance this look, cut, and/or style?”  There’s no reason to do it in reverse.  Otherwise, you’re a 50-year-old stuck in skinny jeans, which just isn’t right!

Sex becomes...” Granted, regardless of your age, sex becomes whatever you desire it to be.  Quite honestly nothing changes after 50.  It’s all in your mind unless it’s truly a “Viagra Required” moment.  If so, then pop the pill and call the doctor if your erection lasts longer than four hours. One can only dream of that happening!  Instead, dream of all the different and unique ways you can still experience mind-blowing gay sex on its head after the big 5-0!  You only turned 50!  You didn’t lose your imagination!

Old queens rule! Just ask Elizabeth. To those who refer to the over 50 crowd as “old” I say, “Don’t worry Junior, you’re catching up faster than you think.”  I love being this age.  I look around at all the cool peeps that are 50-plus—Madonna, Cher, Elton, Anderson Cooper, John Stamos, Liam Neesom, Angela Bassett, George Clooney—and I say, “I’m one of them!”  Try it!  Find your favorite celebs, politicians, authors, musicians, artists, and fashion designers that are over 50 and declare yourself as part of their hood!

Gay wisdom trumps gay fashion. Okay, this may be a stretch.  Nobody does fashion like gay men, but gay wisdom isn’t stitched together; it’s built out of sweat, tears, and towing the line of being yourself.  Regardless of how fabulous some young, hot, pec’d out, furry little cub may look, he still hasn’t been 'round the block enough to know the things you or I do.  Not saying he can’t teach an old dog new tricks; the difference is, I’m wise enough to decide if the new trick is worth doing.  I leave that last sentence open for a myriad of interpretations!

Empty nesting leads to a different kind of celebrating. If you’ve been blessed with children in your life—birthed from your loins or otherwise—your 50’s provide the chance for the young to take flight and make their own way.  Of course, unbeknownst to your offspring, and to the gender non-conforming heterosexual species, we gay men see this as an excuse to throw more fabulous redecorating and downsizing parties. Just don’t answer the phone when the off-to-college ones call.  We don’t want them to get irritated and demand equal play money because you’re throwing a fabulous party.  It’s much too early to admit that their inheritance was spent on the two bedroom beach loft you've always dreamed about!

Your perspective has put down solid roots. This probably isn’t a gay thing, yet it is in so many ways.  Being gay, for most at this stage of life, is just who you’ve always been, unless you’re just coming out of the closet.  If that’s the case, the roots of your gay self are rapidly creeping into the soil, giving you the strength to be your authentic self.  No matter your vantage point, there’s something magical about being solidly planted in your gay beliefs where nothing can really rock your boat.  At least, that’s the hope at this stage of life.

Though our 50s take us one step closer to the other side, for me, now that I’ve had my little “I can’t be 50,” moment, I see a vast spectrum of discovery yet to be experienced.  What I find really exciting is that I get to take that journey being me: a gay man, with no regrets and no Viagara least not yet!

Looking to kick your life into high gear as a gay man? Visit Rick' website at The Gay Man's Life Coach!

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