18 Sexy Secrets Of Online Dating

18 Sexy Secrets Of Online Dating [EXPERT]
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Welcome to Online Dating Bootcamp: Bonus Feature, including our Experts' best-kept secrets about online dating. (Wanna brush up on Bootcamp Days 1-14? Start here.)

Guess what! We saved the best for last. If you think you've learned everything you need to know about online dating already, think again. We have compiled a list of our Experts' best advice about meeting the man of your dreams online. Drum roll please ...

1. Attract quality over quantity. Are you tired of having your inbox flooded with off-target responses? You may need to change your profile. Being specific in your profile will help attract better potential partners and filter out the mismatches so your quest for love doesn't make you give up on love before you find it. —Charly Emery

2. Communication counts. Do your chats sizzle online only to fizzle offline? Downgraded forms of communication leave a lot of room for misinterpretation. Sticking to emails and phone conversations enable you to assess a potential date more effectively and establish quality communication that counts from the start. —Charly Emery

3. Commit to curiosity. Have you ever had your hopes dashed on a date? You may need to check your expectations at the door. Staying curious about how your date fits, conflicts and relates with your desires prevents you from assuming who he is before he gets the chance to show you. —Charly Emery

4. Be selective. I strongly advise my clients against wasting time placing their profile on free, low cost, or "friend finder" social sites. If it is free, then that is the quality of the matches you will find. This is the most important area of your life and it is worth the investment to select quality sites that have a higher quantity of quality matches that meet the standards that you are looking for! —Shay "Your Date Diva" Williams

5. Know your compatible mate. In my practice, I test for and coach my clients on how to identify what their sexual personality is so that they understand the equal and opposite sexual personality they should be attracting. According to Dr. John G. Kappa, PhD who wrote the book Relationships Strategies: The E&P Attraction, we all have an equal and opposite compatible match. We should be aware of the characteristic traits of our opposite match so to increase understanding and effective communication and decrease conflicts with in relationships. —Shay "Your Date Diva" Williams

6. Be positive. I always cringe when I see a profile that states what the person doesn't want in a partner instead of focusing on what he/she does want. Saying players need not apply will not decrease the chances of a player responding to your profile and eventually playing you. As a matter of fact, your statement will most likely do the opposite! —Shay "Your Date Diva" Williams

More dating advice from YourTango:

7. Play the odds. The more you interact online and shift through the great and not-so-great matches, the more likely you will attract a gem who was worth all of the trials and errors. Have fun and date like a rock star until you have met the match whom you have a connection with and who meets your standards, values and compatibility. —Shay "Your Date Diva" Williams

8. Be available and attainable. Being "available" means having the willingness to date and being "attainable" means being able to commit to a long-term relationship. When you project the attitude of being available you project a positive attitude when you walk into the room and are open to whatever excitement or experience lies ahead. —Shay "Your Date Diva" Williams

9. Remember, this is for you. Don't feel pressured to respond to everyone who responds to you. The beauty of online dating is that you can keep whatever boundaries you feel comfortable with, so take advantage of that. —Laurel Fay

10. Develop a polite way to reject people. Have a few short sentences that you can pull when you want someone to stop contacting you, like, "Thanks for contacting me, but I don't think we're a good match. Good luck!" Keep it short and sweet — you don't have to make excuses for why you're not interested. —Laurel Fay

11. Don't get discouraged. You're bound to meet some people you thought might be a match and yet it turns out ... not so much. Remember you're trying this because it's an adventure! Be selective but still give people a chance. You never know when you might hit gold. —Laurel Fay

12. Trust your instincts. Your gut is never wrong. If someone looks great on paper, but when you meet the person, you are not inspired by them, not attracted to them and the conversation doesn’t flow, don’t second guess yourself. Many people suffer and feel overwhelmed with self-doubt and a fear of loss when it seems like you might be missing out. You’re not. He/she might be great, just not great for you. —Bari Lyman

13. Leave the past behind you. Attachment to old boyfriends/girlfriends, former dates or former spouses can clog you up energetically and leave no room for the one. By closing doors on the past with the people and situations with whom you have regrets or still think about, you are clearing a channel to welcome new love into your life. Get complete from the past and watch what happens! —Bari Lyman

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14. Remember, it's a numbers game. You'll need to meet a lot of people to find theright  one. If you were searching for a pearl in a barrel of oysters, wouldn't it be worth the search to find that one little gem? That's exactly what you're doing! With ten gazillion people in the world, you are in search of the the one who is also looking for you. —Bari Lyman

15. Don't judge a book by its taste in music. Does it really matter if you are interested in golf and he/she is interested in sailing? Find someone with a kind, sincere heart who inspires you and shares your vision, values and goals and get to know them by having meaningful conversations. You can always teach someone how to play tennis or sail, but you can’t change someone’s essence. —Bari Lyman

16. Copy + paste = delete. When you're initiating contact with someone you've viewed online, remember to be original and personalize your email. Those who copy and paste the same introduction email to multiple people will be viewed as spammers. Remember, it isn't all about you. —Julie Spira

17. Go mobile. Mobile dating is the hottest trend for singles looking for love online. Mobile daters are more engaged and log on more frequently. Let your SmartPhone be your best digital friend and download a few mobile dating apps so you can start dating and flirting in-real-time. —Julie Spira

18. Cast a wide net. Online dating has truly become a social dating experience. Don’t discard your date if there’s no instant chemistry. He or she may introduce you to a new friend or a business associate. You'll be widening your social circle while looking for "the one." At the end of the digital day, be kind to those you meet online. —Julie Spira

Wanna review what you learned in Online Dating Bootcamp? Go here.