How To Stop Trust Issues From Sabotaging Your Relationship
Ensure that your relationship lasts.
getty Trust issues are just one of the few things that damage relationships.
Whether you have them from a past relationship or they are a new thing for you, they are harmful to all relationships.
Unfortunately, most of us can sabotage things in our lives without even realizing it.
You can learn how to stop your trust issues from sabotaging your relationships.
Trust in a relationship is the most important thing. Without it, the relationship will eventually crumble.
If you don't fully trust the person, you can't fully love them, either.
Trust and love go hand in hand.
If you're having trust issues, the first thing you need to do is look at the root.
Did you have them before this relationship? Is this because of your lack of self-esteem or confidence? Did your partner do something that made you lose that trust?
Really look deep and find the root. You can't fix it if you don't know the root.
This can be tricky, because some people — without realizing it — may be blaming someone else for their trust issues, when it's really due to their own low self-esteem or something created from past relationships.
So, be sure you know the root of the issues first and foremost. And be honest with yourself.
On the other side of your relationship, if your partner doesn't trust you, look deep into that, as well.
Did you do something to cause that lack of trust? Is it coming from their own insecurities?
Knowing the truth is the first step to healing your trust issues.
The ironic thing is that in some relationships, even if both parties can be trusted the couple's bond can be completely ruined because of trust issues for no reason.
So, it's important to hone in on any trust issues and work on them. After you look deep and find the root, if the root stemmed from actions your partner took, you need to make a decision.
If they did something to make you lose trust, you need to decide if you can fully forgive them or not. If you can't forgive them, you need to let that relationship go.
You can never have a truly healthy relationship if you're always holding that over them, or always wondering about it in your mind. You either need to forgive them and completely let it go, or end the relationship.
If you want to forgive them and let it go, really look at their actions since then.
Are they really sorry? Have they made changes since? Have they tried their best to prove it to you?
Don't just forgive them if you don't feel things have changed — that will only prolong your pain.
You want a stable foundation to grow on, not one that could crumble at any time.
Unfortunately, many people stay in these situations way longer than they should and waste their time. They end up more hurt in the long run.
Decide if you truly can forgive and be honest with yourself. Lying to yourself about it will only cause you more pain down the road.
Remember, you need to fully forgive and erase it from memory completely or end it. Those are the only two ways to have a healthy relationship.
If you did something, yourself, to cause the trust issues, look at the actions you've taken since.
Have you proven your trust? Can you regain that trust back? What can you do to help heal things?
Again, if you feel they will never trust you again no matter what, then it's time to move on and make those changes in your next relationship to stop that pattern.
Really communicate with your partner and gauge whether that trust can ever be restored or not.
After looking deep and realizing those trust issues are stemming from yourself and your own insecurities, then it's important to work on that. If you don't, you'll only push your partner away, and I don't want that for you!
Too many good relationships end because of unfounded trust issues.
Really get to the core and focus on what caused you to have these issues in the first place.
Is it a past relationship? If so, really try to clear the slate and let that go. Don't punish your partner for things someone else did, that's not fair.
Is it stemming from your lack of self-esteem and confidence? This is a very common issue.
If this is the case, really put work into that and into yourself. We should all be confident in ourselves and when we aren't there are issues we need to work on.
Don't compare yourself to others.
Look at yourself and all your great qualities and focus on creating a happy life for yourself. Focusing on your purpose will help your confidence!
So no matter what the root is, trust issues will always destroy a relationship — it's only a matter of time.
Find the root and really work through them so you can move forward and be happy! You deserve to be happy and can be!
Kristine Carlson is a psychic medium, advanced soul realignment practitioner, life coach, and author. You can get a convenient, personal email reading, clearing, or personal coaching from Kristine on her website.