7 Habits That Bring People More Fulfillment Than Practically Any Big Achievement Ever Will
getty Do you want to build your self-esteem, but don't know where to start? This can be a frustrating position, especially if you're tired of feeling down on yourself or beating yourself up.
Having low self-esteem can be utterly exhausting. But the good news is that there are ways to pick yourself up and learn how to love yourself right. All it takes is a little practice.
Here are 7 habits that bring people more fulfillment than practically any big achievement ever will:
1. Staying in your own lane
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We all started this life at a different point in our journey. Comparing yourself to anyone else is like comparing apples and oranges, so don't torture yourself like that. You can use others to help motivate you to go further, but never compare where you are to where someone else is — there is no comparison.
Research found that unhappy people are way more sensitive to social comparison and it totally tanks their well-being, while happier people just use that info sparingly to protect their happiness. Comparing yourself to other people literally makes you less happy, so the key is staying in your own lane and focusing on your own journey instead of what everyone else is doing.
2. Appreciating progress over perfection
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If you make huge goals and never reach them, that takes a toll on your self-esteem. Break your goals down into more manageable ones. The more goals you reach that you set for yourself, the better your self-esteem will become.
Don't set yourself up for failure with an unreachable goal. Know you can do anything you want to, but start with a little at a time. As you keep conquering all your goals, your self-esteem will rise.
3. Making yourself a priority every single day
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If you put yourself last, that is telling yourself and the universe that you are not important. Make yourself important!
Know that you deserve to be put first, and take actions that show that. If you put yourself last, you will attract others that put you last, as well. So take care of yourself, and know that you are worthy of that!
Self-care practices like making time for yourself literally increase positive emotions and reduce stress which directly enhances your overall happiness and well-being, researchers argue. The cool part is that self-care acts as this protective shield that builds resilience, so when you make yourself a priority every day even in small ways, you're basically protecting your mental health and giving yourself the energy to handle everything life throws at you.
4. Being kind to yourself in your own head
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The more you talk down to and about yourself, the more you start to believe it. It can take time and effort to dig yourself out of that hole if this pattern has gone on for a while.
The first step is to be aware and notice when you are talking or thinking down about yourself, stop yourself, and redirect your thoughts. If you keep catching and stopping yourself, it will get less and less over time.
Next, purposely start talking and thinking good about yourself. Focus on your great qualities and constantly remind yourself of them. Replace those negative thoughts with positive ones. Over time, your self-esteem will increase.
5. Forgiving yourself like you'd forgive anyone else
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This is a huge one that most people are guilty of. You make mistakes, that is how you learn. Don't punish yourself forever for a mistake you made. You are not your mistakes! Every mistake is a gift that teaches us something.
Take the knowledge you learned, but leave the rest behind. Forgive yourself, so you can move forward. Start with where you are now, and move forward. Punishing yourself will only keep you stuck and make your self-esteem worse.
According to research, people who practice self-forgiveness have way less anxiety and depression plus they get increases in self-esteem and hope for the future. When you forgive yourself instead of punishing yourself forever for mistakes, you're basically freeing yourself from all that anger and negative stuff so you can actually move forward and be happier.
6. Embracing change instead of fighting it
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Anything you are not happy about, start focusing on changing it going forward. Create your life how you want to. Your life is like clay, you have the power to mold it.
Don't allow yourself to stay stuck in circumstances you don't want — that never helps your self-esteem. Show yourself how great you really are by creating the life you really want. You have all the power in the world, but you must use it!
Don't allow yourself to wallow in what's wrong, start taking steps to correct it! Even just one small step towards making positive changes can make you feel so much better. The more you tailor your life to what you want, the better your self-esteem will be. Show yourself how much power you really have over your life and take control.
When things feel off, listen to yourself and change them. You never have to stay stuck in something you don't want. If you need help moving forward in any area of your life, I have lots of reading, clearing, and coaching choices available to help you with where you are now.
7. Recognizing your worth through other people's love
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You can be your own worst critic. Take some time to really see yourself through the eyes of those that love you, even through your pet's eyes. You can see everything wrong when you look through your own eyes, but those that love you focus on everything that is right.
Social support from people who love you gives you this recognition of your own self-worth which totally predicts your happiness and overall well-being, studies have found. When you see yourself through the eyes of people who care about you, you get positive feelings and increased self-esteem because they focus on what's right about you instead of all the stuff you criticize yourself for.
Something that seems horrible to you is usually not even something someone that loves you even notices. So, start seeing yourself through the eyes of love, instead of the eyes of criticism and build on that. Love yourself and know you are amazing!
Know that you are perfect how you are. Your soul has been refined over many lives and has been through a lot. Celebrate all you have endured and how strong you are.
Believe in yourself and know you are already amazing. If you knew the full story of all your lives, you would worship yourself for all you have accomplished. So, see the bigger picture and start worshiping yourself today and know you are worthy! You are amazing right now, know that and can keep building on that!
Kristine Carlson is a psychic medium, advanced soul-realignment practitioner, life coach, and author.
