Photo: unsplash
Sex and love are tied together; the Bible tells you so.
By Patsy Rae Dawson — Written on May 16, 2019
If you’re in a sexless marriage and need some sex tips and marriage advice, you may want to look in a surprising place for the key to better sex: In the Bible.
Do you think Christians and sex don’t go together? Think again.
God devotes more space in the Bible to teaching the positives about sexual love than any other area of marriage. In fact, God wants you to love and enjoy passionate lovemaking and good sex with your spouse.
It should come as no surprise then, that by looking in the Bible, you'll find some great sex advice and sex tips for creating a passionate, intimate relationship between you and your partner.
Here are 5 Bible verses that demonstrate that being a good lover to your spouse is tied to being a good Christian:
1. Ecclesiastes 9:9 teaches that good sex is a reward for hard work
"Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun.”
After God created Adam and Eve, he told them to subdue the earth. That word “subdue” implies that the earth is hostile to the subduer and requires extraordinary effort to control it.
For example, the weather wreaks havoc on crops, roads, and buildings to destroy man’s efforts.
Yet in the midst of all the uncertainties in earning a living, God said, “Lovemaking is my gift to you. It’s your reward for all your hard work to provide for your family.”
Accept God’s marvelous gift by layering your emotions and hormones through frequent sex with your mate.
Layering sex works like this: You engage in sex Monday night. Tuesday morning you get up energized from the emotional connection and all the hormones flooding your body.
If you don’t have sex again for a week, the tenderness and hormones will continue to make you happy as they slowly evaporate. But suppose you enjoy sex again on Tuesday night. You’ll deposit another layer of bonding and hormones on top of the fading ones from Monday.
Then you initiate sex again on Wednesday. And you add a third layer of intimacy and hormones on top of the two subsiding afterglows. You get the picture.
When you "layer" lovemaking, your happiness and sensations keep increasing until you’re energized and deliriously happy and you hardly notice all the stress and strain of working hard to subdue the hostile earth because God’s special reward makes it much more than worth it.
2. Song of Solomon 2:7 tells you that the key to sex is love
“I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the hinds of the field, that you do not arouse or awaken my love until she pleases.”
King Solomon took a Shulammite maiden to his tent to try to sweet talk her into joining his harem of 141 wives.
Instead of saying, “Yes,” she begged his palace maidens to not force her and Solomon to marry before they fell in love.
Her mother had taught her from a young age that becoming a soul mate is absolutely essential for enjoying a wonderful sex life. The birds and the antelope and all the creatures in between are often more perceptive than many humans are when it comes to sex.
They insist on "soulmating" before sex, and so should you. For humans and some animals, soulmating is a lifelong commitment.
That’s because bitterness and harboring little annoyances numb the inside of your body. When you soulmate before sex as animals do, you free your body to enjoy ecstatic lovemaking.
Why? Because your most powerful sexual organ is your brain.
You know what happens when you’re mad at your husband and he reaches over and touches your hand? It takes tremendous willpower to keep from yanking away.
But if your husband takes you out to dinner, listens to you, pays attention to you … and then touches your hand … the electricity ignites your more sensitive love parts.
Continuing to "soulmate" and connect throughout marriage keeps your passion flowing.
3. Song of Solomon 7:9b-10 suggests sex for a good night's sleep
“It [sex] goes down smoothly for my beloved, flowing gently through the lips of those who fall asleep. I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.”
You probably know the saying, “Sex puts a man to sleep, but it leaves a woman wide awake,” but it simply isn’t true.
When a woman learns the art of welcoming her husband’s presence deep within her, she may fall asleep before he does.
Robust lovemaking expends energy and releases hormones that “flow gently through the lips of those who fall asleep.”
So the next time you think you’re too tired and just want to roll over and go to sleep, don’t say, “No.” Soften your lips into a sly smile as you say, “Yes.”
Allow your mate to stir up your desire with deep kisses. Then share love for the best night of sleep ever.
4. 1 Corinthians 7:4 tells you to enjoy intimacy together, not alone
“The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”
This is probably the most misunderstood scripture about sex. Often husbands and wives selfishly use this passage on each other. “Your body belongs to me, and I have the right to say what happens sexually. I have authority over your body.”
This attitude conveys the opposite of what the verse says. You can get some pleasure from self-masturbation, but the best orgasms occur with your mate.
Once a wife begins experiencing husband-created orgasms, self-masturbation seems empty. A husband satisfies a wife’s deepest feminine needs in a way an impersonal machine can’t.
The danger of vibrators and self-masturbation is that they teach your body how to respond apart from your husband. Then when you come together, your sensations are weak in comparison to what they could be.
Don’t believe me? Ditch your vibrator for a couple of weeks to let your body readjust.
In the meantime, work on soulmating and notice your little twinges of desire. Start layering sex and bask in your emotions and hormones of love.
5. Titus 2:3-4 wants you to be physically loving with each other
“Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children.”
“Love,” the Greek word phileo, is a huggy, touchy, kissy kind of love. So what does hugging, touching, and kissing have to do with being a better lover? Everything!
According to nearly 200 respondents to a survey about sexless marriages, a large percentage of sexless spouses who avoid sex also don’t engage in phileo love.
65.5 percent don’t initiate kisses
56.8 percent kiss with stiff lips
32.4 percent Don’t return kisses
Kissing arouses and punctuates passionate lovemaking.
If you didn’t grow up in an affectionate home where your parents hugged and kissed you, then more than likely, you don’t know how to emotionally and sexually love your mate.
But your upbringing isn’t an excuse for withholding passionate love from your spouse. As a Christian, God expects you to learn how to love — to do better than your parents did.
Unfortunately, many older women don’t know how to kiss and make love to their husband so they can’t teach you. It’s your job to search and find the answers.
Sex originated within the mind of God to bless and reward you and your mate. The more you put love into your relationship, the better Christian you’ll become and the better lover you’ll be. God designed Christians and passionate lovemaking to go together.
Patsy Rae Dawson helps clients break through their sexual blocks by unmasking their genetic personality and has taught women how to enjoy vaginal orgasms for over 45 years. She shares the secret of multiple orgasms in The Song of Solomon Love Triangle: God’s Soulmating and Lovemaking Guide for a Lifetime of Passionate Sex.