How To Get A Man To Want You (And Want To Love You Forever, Too)

Lust + Love = Forever.

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If you want to win a man’s heart and make him yours forever, you have to make him want to both protect you and ravish you senseless at the same time. 

That’s when he will be attentive, romantic, and affectionate. That’s when he will feel inspired to commit and be emotionally available to you.

1. Create an emotional connection.

To make a man want to protect you, take care of you and tend to your needs within the relationship, you have to take the time to cultivate a strong emotional connection with him.


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Creating an emotional connection with a man doesn’t come from:

  • Caregiving
  • Buying him things
  • Being like one of the guys (his pal) & spending time doing “buddy activities” together
  • Sleeping with him
  • Being his psychologist

An emotional connection blossoms between a man and a woman when both partners feel emotionally safe with one another to open up about their feelings. When a man feels like you’re the kind of soft, sensitive, understanding and empathetic woman who can listen, validate his feelings, care about his feelings and tend to his needs without psycho-analyzing them and infantilizing him, he feels seen. 


2. Open up to him.

Though it’s important to be emotionally available to his needs and feelings, what’s even more important is that you are available to your own and that you can share your vulnerable feelings with him. 

When you can be what I call, the "love guide" in the relationship, and show a man, through your example, what it means to open up to another person, you can inspire him to want to share his own vulnerable side with you.

3. Have a strong center while sharing. 

When you open up to him and share your feelings, make sure to stay grounded. When you can have a strong center and not flood him with insecurities and neediness, you can speak from your heart without overwhelming him with “pulling” energy. 

There’s a big difference between having energy that implies, “I feel scared and angry and I can handle these feelings but I want to share them,” apart from the energy that screams, “I feel scared and angry and I need you fix these feelings for me right now!”


To feel grounded, take the time to tend to your home and your body. These two things are physical representations of your “space,” your center, your core — and when you feel good about these two things, you can help yourself feel safe, welcoming, open, calm, loving, and patient no matter what he is doing.

4. Warm up your home. 

  • Clean your house — dust everything!
  • Think about new lacy curtains or painting your walls a soft yet bright peach or mint green.
  • Make sure you love your bedding and feel cozy and clean in them at night.
  • Put fresh, colorful flowers in each room.
  • Light scented candles and always take out the trash at night

5. Pamper & love your body.

  • Use lotions and perfume oils.
  • Get massages
  • Do gentle and self-loving exercise like yoga or tai chi.
  • Wear soft fabrics in soft shades that aren’t too severe (lavender over black).
  • Wear your hair down and spend money on good hair products

6. Make him want to ravish you senseless.

Men are funny — when they are truly in love, they want to protect a woman like a knight in shining armor. However, they also want to possess her body in the bedroom. It’s like he wants to do to you what he is trying to protect you from with other savage men. 

The best way to win a man’s heart and make him want you is to own your sensuality. Not every woman can think of herself as sexy, or even sexual because of nasty, self-loathing thoughts that prevent these self-beliefs. However, every woman can work on being sensual and that she is capable of being so.


7. Indulge your senses in the present moment.

To be sensual, you have to step into your body. You have to indulge your senses and allow yourself to feel fluid (instead of uptight and full of tension) and open to the stimuli present all around you in this beautiful, crazy world. 

So… When you eat, really taste your food. When you listen to music, really let it touch your soul… When you touch something, be curious about its texture and temperature (this includes a man’s skin.)

When you can be curious about the world around you, like a child who's full of wonderment, a man can take that journey with you, and that’s when a love affair begins. That’s when you can win a man’s heart. Romance is about getting lost in one another in a loving, passionate way, so why not get lost in life in the same way — inspire him to chase you and make you want him the way he can see that you want to know and love the world?


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Kristina Marchant is an author who helps women who feel unhappy in their relationships. Sign up for her Love Advice Newsletter & learn her 5 Goddess Tips That Will Bring Him Closer!