Photo: Nathan Dumlao | Unsplash
Change takes time.
By Brent Berman
Last updated on Mar 20, 2024
Back when Tiger Woods made headlines for his affairs with multiple women, he was back in the news not too long afterward. This time, rumors spread that he was cheating on his (now ex) girlfriend, Lindsey Vonn.
It was easy to believe tabloid speculation that his cheating ways were the reason for their breakup, but according to People, Tiger and Lindsey broke up because it just "didn't work out." That's normal, but sometimes, cheating is to blame. Why do men cheat? And is there a reason why married men cheat in particular?
Here are 5 reasons why some men cannot stop cheating, according to an expert:
1. That’s all they know.
Some men have been cheating since they were in middle school. It is part of who they are, and it's so ingrained it has become part of their identity. Without being a womanizer, they don’t know who they are. Learning to be monogamous takes work. They need counseling to unlearn this behavior and to work on it daily.
2. They have no moral issue with it.
Morally, some men don’t have a problem with hiring an escort. The guy who cheats on you probably feels the same way or he wouldn’t do it. It is easy to be remorseful after the fact. But can morals be taught? In most cases, no.
3. They have low self-esteem.
Cheaters tend to have low self-esteem — their ego rewards them when they can have multiple women. But cheaters need to learn to love themselves before they can love anyone else.
4. They're addicted.
Some people are addicted to sex and love. They become obsessed and can’t stop thinking about it until they act on it. Sex and love addictions can be treated with individual and group therapy. However, they're not going away by themselves. Men who cheat need to do the work to improve.
5. They're self-sabotaging.
Some men tend to sabotage their lives when it's going well. They may not know why they are doing or what they are doing and simply can't stop. There is always an unresolved issue from their past that causes a person to self-sabotage, so counseling and couples therapy help.
Photo: Roman Samborskyi via Shutterstock
If your man fits into one of these categories, just know there is hope. He can change if he wants to change, has a good support system, and devotes himself to becoming a better person. The change won't happen overnight, he will be tempted to cheat while trying to change. Make sure to get help — change takes time.
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Brent Berman is a holistic psychotherapist in Jupiter, Florida. He has extensive experience in the field of addiction and believes in changing the world one smile at a time.