5 Reasons Why Blue Balls Might Be The Best Thing EVER For Your Sex Life
Give it a chance, guys. (You’ll be surprised.)
WeHeartIt If you ask me, the whole claim of men suffering from "blue balls" when they don't get to ejaculate is just a ploy to try to make women to feel guilty for not "finishing the job" properly, or an excuse to gratify the imminent urge to spew and release all that pent-up sexual energy that doesn't know where else to go.
But, really, the "symptom" we call "blue balls" is nothing more than a clear indicator of an untrained, unrefined expression of male sexual energy.
The overwhelming urge and constant craving for ejaculation — either from sexual intercourse or self-pleasure (aka masturbation) — is also a symptom of an untrained male sexual energy. (According to science, women have their own version of this phenomena, sometimes referred to as "pink balls.")
Now I'm sure a few of the men out there reading this right now are probably thinking I'm some kind of feminist bitch or controlling dominatrix. And I wouldn't be surprised if a few women out there reading this even think the same thing. I promise you I am neither (though I do find the dominatrix thing a little bit intriguing...)
Guys, gals, stay with me. Let me explain.
What I am about to tell you is TRUE and it is not something I am making up. In fact, what I am about to tell you, I myself learned from men!
There is a secret that the experienced man knows. A secret that holds the power to get him what he really wants from sex, which, for the wise man, is more than just a quick spurt of seminal fluid and a momentary burst of pleasurable feelings. That, after all, is mere child's play to the experienced man.
The experienced man knows another route. It's called delayed ejaculation.
Yep, ladies and gentlemen, you heard me right. The conscious and intentional choice to delay and, in some cases, even avoid the male orgasm altogether for a period of time.
What? Why on earth would any man want to do this? And why on earth would any woman want her man to do this?
Won't he get blue balls? Won't he just get moody and irritable if he doesn't come? Isn't this just downright mean? Isn't that just some kind of kink thing? Well, NO, actually.
I am going to share with you 5 reasons why delaying ejaculation should be a regular practice in your sex life. It MUST become a way of life for you IF you want to get more from sex (and from life in general).
Argue with me as you will, but, seriously, you have no ground to stand on unless you have actually practiced delayed ejaculation for at least several weeks. Experience is truly the only teacher in this domain. So, keep an open mind and learn from what the experienced men and smart women of the world already know.
There are FIVE primary reasons every man should engage the practice of delaying ejaculation. And these 5 reasons are the same reasons every smart woman should demand and accept nothing less from her man. (These reasons are mutually beneficial to the both of you.)
1. Delayed ejaculation gives men more energy, clarity, and focus
Ask any man who has embraced the practice of delayed ejaculation and they will all tell you the same thing: It is as if a fog has been lifted off of them.
The fuzzy thinking and general feeling of loss of motivation that ensues after orgasm disappears and is replaced with a new found sense of purpose, clarity, and focus. Experienced men will report that resisting the urge to masturbate may be a challenge for most men at the outset, but, with time, the urge subsides and is replaced by a refined feeing of focus and a well-spring of energy they never knew they had.
They are better able to focus and accomplish tasks, stay motivated and clear in their life direction, and perform better at work and in the bedroom.
2. Delayed ejaculation helps him maintain desire for you
Experienced men also report that delaying their ejaculation keeps their arousal levels higher, resulting in longer sustained interest in and desire for their partner. They are better able to focus serving their partner and sexually satisfying her. They feel more tuned into her energy are more responsive to her. They also feel more intimately connected and calm.
Gone are the days of fast-paced sexing followed by the habitual "roll over and fall asleep" maneuver. Gone are the feelings of sexual disinterest that often follow ejaculation. In its place, welcome a constant sexual high and an ongoing semi-hard dick.
3. Delayed ejaculation makes her more orgasmic
It is a fact that a woman's body and a woman's sexual energy need time to become fully ready for sex. Too often sex is over before she has ever really had a chance to be fully available for sex.
A woman's arousal process is different than that of a man. She needs TIME and attention to be able to experience her full range of pleasure and to be able to reach orgasm. So when a man delays his ejaculation, he is giving his woman the time she needs to become fully aroused, sexually open and available to him.
A woman who has difficulty reaching orgasm has probably not been with a partner who afforded her the amount of time she needed to become fully aroused and orgasmic. And, for some women, this can take a long time. Like a long time. Like over an hour or even longer. The average sex act is 5 to 7 minutes long, thanks to rapid ejaculation. That's why, men, the greatest gift you can give yourself and your partner is TAKE YOUR TIME.
4. Delayed ejaculation increases trust
A woman will never be able to fully trust a man who comes too quickly. She may not have any conscious understanding of this, and you may think I'm full of shit, but it is true.
A woman wants a man she can fully trust. She wants someone she can be with who allows her to relax fully into her feminine energy. In order for a woman to be able to experience fulfilling sex and orgasm, she must feel completely safe and protected. When a man delays ejaculation, she feels a sense of safety which allows her to relax and drop into the full range of her feminine sexual energy.
If a woman is afraid that her man is going to come too quickly, she will be unable to fully relax. She will always be holding back a little bit. If she cannot relax and trust, orgasm may elude her and she will feel a subtle lack of depth from you and a sense of unfulfillment that she can't quite name. As her lover, you may end up feeling inadequate, frustrated, and even resentful of her. If you want to make her come in droves, learn to hold onto your little swimmers.
5. Delayed ejaculation increases and sustains dopamine for constant turn-on
Dopamine is the brain chemical associated with motivation and reward. It's released during sexual activity and then in one big burst at the moment of ejaculation. After this huge release, dopamine levels crash. And it can take some time for the body and brain to get back to a comfortable baseline. During this time, there can be feelings of withdrawal or craving for another big rush of dopamine, a loss of interest in your partner, and sometimes even feelings of irritability and depression.
This is one reason masturbation and ejaculation may become somewhat addictive for many men.
When ejaculation is delayed, however, you are avoiding that huge crash of dopamine levels associated with ejaculation. Instead, you are gradually stimulating and releasing steady amounts of dopamine over time. Hence the feelings of increased motivation, clarity, and focus. Sustained levels of dopamine also account for the maintained interest in and desire for your partner as well as the ongoing heightened feelings of sexual arousal.
Delaying ejaculation also avoids the post-ejaculatory release of prolactin, a hormone released during ejaculation that causes that "I'm satisfied" feeling. Prolactin is the hormone that makes us feel tired after orgasm and the cause of that post-orgasmic feeling of "I think I'll just roll over and go to sleep."
(For a great resource on how your neurochemistry can impact your sex life, check out Marnia Robinson's Cupid's Poisoned Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships.)
Morgan Susan Taylor, M.A. is the founder of the Feminine Wisdom Academy. As a sexuality educator, sex therapist, and intimacy coach, she is passionate about empowering women, men, and couples create and sustain an intimacy that is both physically satisfying and spiritually fulfilling. Get your copy of Morgan's free eBook "The Pleasure Keys: 7 Keys to Increase Pleasure, Reach Your Orgasmic Potential, and Experience Sexual Fulfillment" at www.FeminineWisdomAcademy.com
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