Self, Sex

Sexually Awkward Gals: Get Confident With THIS One Tip!

girl with a donut

The ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu is famous for his ever-relevant quote written in the 6th century: "Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."

And he was hella-wise because in the 21st century, science confirmed that our brains and our thoughts dictate what we say, feel, act and habitually do.

Our brains are mirrors reflecting and reminding us of our past. We make the mistake of thinking we have a rigid personality and that who we really are is a fixed thing that can't be changed, but that's SO not true.

Personality actually is merely how we think, how we feel and how we behave ... TODAY. 

So this means that if you want to create a new sexual reality for yourself, a new sexual confidence, then you've got to take heed and pay attention to what you're thinking, how you're feeling and how you're behaving — all of which are nothing more than memorised artifacts of your past history.

Here's the cool thing: at any given moment change is completely possible and absolutely achievable.

In order to change, you must literally become a changed person. You become different to what you were in thoughts, words, feelings and actions.

Reminding yourself of who you think you are according to who you were in the past and how you thought, felt and acted previously only keeps you stuck in the limitations of your memorised self.

Not good.

Dr Joe Dispenza says if we want to change the way we are, we need to literally become a different person. Apply this notion to a sexual context and your sexual dysfunctions magically evaporate.

Truth bomb time: Miss "Sexually Awkward" is only awkward because she defines herself by her past history.

She's thirty something years old and for the last 15 years she has considered herself sexually awkward, inhibited and shutdown. She's described herself as a "sexually closed off person" to friends. She's even warned off potential sexual partners by actually telling them: "I've got sexual hang ups".

So for nearly two decades Miss "Sexually Awkward" has herself, perpetuated her sexual limitations by thinking sexually self-limiting thoughts, verbalising them, and defining herself in this negative way.

But what if she one day decided she was going to make the conscious decision to CHOOSE to define her sexual self in a different way?

Imagine if she one day said to herself, "The days of me telling myself and everyone around me that I am sexually broken are over".

Imagine if she then declared to herself that "from this day forward I will choose to see myself in a sexually positive light. I will give myself the gift of sexual acceptance and I will no longer judge or criticise myself for the way I am as a sexual being."

Then imagine she decides that she will now make a deliberate effort at every given moment to think of herself as a sexually receptive woman, who is confident and free in her sexuality and sexual expression.

And through thinking of herself in this new and beautiful way, her new thoughts begin to shape her actions. She starts to notice herself behaving in sexually confident, liberated and receptive ways.

Voilà ... Miss "Sexually Awkward" becomes Miss "Sexually Receptive."

Then the way she previously described herself to others also shifts: her thoughts and actions are no longer sexually closed-off or awkward. To label herself in that way would just be an inaccurate depiction of her current self.

So she then starts telling people things like "There was a time in my life that I had sexual hang ups and was really closed off sexually, but I'm not like that anymore."

Even if this "time in her life" was only yesterday!

Then when meeting potential lovers, she no longer scares them off with her foreboding self-depreciating sexual labels. She now merely continue to practice consciously choosing the way she thinks and feels about her sexual self, which then effortlessly allows her actions to follow suit.

She now radiates sexual receptivity and confidence because she is no longer obstructing her sexual energy through her negative and limiting sexual self talk.

The stories we tell ourselves about ourselves, the thoughts we allow ourselves to entertain and ponder, the words we use to describe, define and identify ourselves have incredible power and influence on the way we feel and act. Ultimately, they tremendously affect how we perceive ourselves and others perceive us.

Choose exactly what energy and intention you will put into your thoughts in order to take control of your feelings and actions both in and out of the bedroom.