8 Signs A Guy Has Toxically Low Self-Esteem (Yikes!) — And Why You Need To Move On

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8 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And Insecurity In Men
Contributor
Heartbreak

Have you ever been in an on-again, off-again relationship with a guy who's nothing but drama? Maybe you feel like you're stuck in a situation like that right now.

Toxic relationships fueled by insecurty and low self-esteem exist in a constant spin cycle of self-created drama, regular fighting and prolonged periods of icy silence. You break up over and over again, getting back together each time anyway in the misguided hope that this time you can finally make it work.

All of that drama might go on for months or even years, during which you waste valuable time and energy, ending up exhausted and possibly even losing faith in love.

You know the situation isn’t healthy, but you stay because you really love him, right?

If you want to avoid drama-filled toxic relationships like this with insecure men, it's important that you learn to recognize signs of low self-esteem and insecurity that make some men so problematic.

When searching for a life partner, there's nothing more important than finding someone who's emotionally healthy.

Toxic, emotionally abusive relationships often involve at least one partner who struggles with low self-esteem.

RELATED: Why Your Relationship Will Never Work If You Aren't Being Honest With Yourself

When you're looking for love, it's important to know what to avoid early on before you get too invested in someone who isn't good for you.

To that end, here are eight signs the man you're dating has toxically low self-esteem and it's time move on:

1. He makes over-the-top self-deprecating statements on a regular basis.

Being humble is one thing, but putting yourself down constantly is another.

He repeatedly says things like, "I can't believe you'd date someone like me," or "You're out of my league."

2. He's hypercritical of you.

A healthy man dates women he genuinely likes. If you're not what he's looking for, he'll just move on.

If the guy you're dating constantly criticizes you (from your looks to your personality), that's a really bad sign.

3. He's just a little too perfect.

Does he have the perfect house, the perfect car, the perfect clothes, the perfect job, and the perfect friends?

People who feel the need to appear perfect are often trying to convince not only others, but also themselves, that they have value.

RELATED: Why So Many Strong Women End Up With Weak Men

4. He's relentlessly negative.

Happy people try seeing the best in others and look for the positive in most situations.

If he's constantly pointing out what's wrong instead of what's right, pay close attention.

5. He's jealous.

Is he constantly jealous, uncomfortable with your male friends, or does he unjustifiably accuse you of flirting?

A confident, healthy man has faith in you and your relationship.

6. He wants you all to himself.

Your friends are important to you and being with them makes you happy.

If he doesn't want you to spend time with them and he doesn't want to get to know them, that's a problem.

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7. He can't admit when he's wrong.

Being vulnerable is an important part of being in a relationship.

If he's always blaming others and can't look inward and admit when he's made a mistake, that's a big red flag.

8. He doesn't really listen to what you're saying.

Some people hear what they already believe instead of what you're actually saying.

Does he often take what you're saying the wrong way? Are his feelings always getting hurt? Is he easily offended? If you have to rehearse before you talk to him or walk on eggshells, yikes — your partner's low self-esteem is a problem.

Communication shouldn't feel this hard.

I’m not saying you should dump him if he lacks self-confidence from time to time. We all have our insecurities. But if his low self-esteem is affecting your happiness on a regular basis, it’s time to move on.

If you want an easiy, healthier relationship, find a guy with a solid sense of self-esteem and avoid insecure men like this in the future. You'll enjoy a relationship that is so much more rewarding.

Life is too short to subject yourself to all that self-created drama.

RELATED: Beware! If Your Man Does These 15 Things, He's Majorly Insecure

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Michelle Jacoby is a matchmaker, a dating coach, a relationship coach, and a dating and relationship expert and the owner of DC Matchmaking, a small boutique matchmaking and coaching company for commitment-minded singles in The Washington, DC Metropolitan Area.

This article was originally published at Michelle Jacoby. Reprinted with permission from the author.